Terry Deary's definitions
n. British rhyming slang for the popular and very strong (5.2% abv) Belgian lager, Stella Artois. Generally used by the politically-correct or mild-mannered public house frequenteur, because the better-known synonym for Stella Artois in the UK is wifebeater.
Barman: What'll it be?
Barfly 1: What's cheap?
Barman: Carling, Foster's...
Barfly 2: Don't get cheap on me, you tightwad! Two pint of Bella, please.
Barfly 1: What's cheap?
Barman: Carling, Foster's...
Barfly 2: Don't get cheap on me, you tightwad! Two pint of Bella, please.
by Terry Deary December 7, 2006
Get the Bella mug.n. A tool used to draw the beef curtains; a smaller but meatier pork sword; a dangerous stabbing weapon most effective when targetting the rusty sheriff's badge or when thrown into salmon canyon; the giggle stick.
Man: Hey honey, what say we uncork a bottle of Chardonnay, snuggle up and watch The Notebook together?
Wife: Oh, how romantic!!!
Man: Actually, scrap that idea - how about you bend over and I'll thrust a beef dagger into your treacherous brown eye.
Wife: Oh no, not again!
Man: Spread 'em, bumslut!
Wife: Oh, how romantic!!!
Man: Actually, scrap that idea - how about you bend over and I'll thrust a beef dagger into your treacherous brown eye.
Wife: Oh no, not again!
Man: Spread 'em, bumslut!
by Terry Deary August 29, 2006
Get the beef dagger mug.v.t. ("on the razzle dazzle", "to razzle and dazzle") When a group of lads join forces in order to become muntered and hopefully get a gobble by the end of the night. From the ancient Greek compounds "razzle" - to drink your bodyweight in tequila; and "dazzle" - to attempt to bone anything with a pulse at a seedy nightclub.
Hopefully, said troops will end up getting their nat king cole, and if they are extremelly fortunate, they will avoid becoming a noted munter-gatherer.
Hopefully, said troops will end up getting their nat king cole, and if they are extremelly fortunate, they will avoid becoming a noted munter-gatherer.
Lad 1: You fancy another Aftershock?
Lad 2: No, too much razzle can ruin your chances of dazzling. And I've got my eye on that fattie in the corner, wobbling her fat arse along to "No Limit".
Lad 3: How's the razzle dazzle going?
Lad 4: Pretty good, £1 a drink so I'm bawspank'd, and that munter that I pulled has a slightly more attractive friend.
Lad 3: Casey and Dean aren't faring so well.
Lad 4: I guess we could go for DVDA with that fattie in the corner?
Lad 2: No, too much razzle can ruin your chances of dazzling. And I've got my eye on that fattie in the corner, wobbling her fat arse along to "No Limit".
Lad 3: How's the razzle dazzle going?
Lad 4: Pretty good, £1 a drink so I'm bawspank'd, and that munter that I pulled has a slightly more attractive friend.
Lad 3: Casey and Dean aren't faring so well.
Lad 4: I guess we could go for DVDA with that fattie in the corner?
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
Get the razzle dazzle mug.n. A particular breed of ned or chav who, instead of being plain aggressive and threatening, is full of bravado and chooses instead to shout witticisms at passers-by. Favourites include:
"show's yer fanny!" ("could I please see your vagina?")
"gie's a gobble!" ("would you please perform oral sex on me?")
"we arra peepell!" (chanted throughout Glasgow housing estates whenever Rangers win the league - "we are the people?" God knows what it means)
Cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you'd care to duel.
"show's yer fanny!" ("could I please see your vagina?")
"gie's a gobble!" ("would you please perform oral sex on me?")
"we arra peepell!" (chanted throughout Glasgow housing estates whenever Rangers win the league - "we are the people?" God knows what it means)
Cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you'd care to duel.
Cheeky ned (at bus stop at 2 in the morning with bottle of Buckfast) : Whit you lookin' at?
Passer-by: Eh, nothing really. Straight ahead mostly.
Cheeky ned: Whit? Whit you daein'?
Passer-by: What am I doing? Going home. Why?
Cheeky ned: Whit? Who you talkin' tae?
Passer-by: I was under the impression I was talking to you.
Cheeky ned: Aw, whit man! You're gettin pure do'ed!
Passer-by: I hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
Passer-by: Eh, nothing really. Straight ahead mostly.
Cheeky ned: Whit? Whit you daein'?
Passer-by: What am I doing? Going home. Why?
Cheeky ned: Whit? Who you talkin' tae?
Passer-by: I was under the impression I was talking to you.
Cheeky ned: Aw, whit man! You're gettin pure do'ed!
Passer-by: I hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
by Terry Deary June 2, 2005
Get the cheeky ned mug.RECIPE FOR GAELIC COFFEE:
Pour 35mls of a good Scotch blend (Chivas Regal, Antiquary, Black Label etc.) into a pre-warmed latté glass. Add a teaspoon of demerara sugar (or a dash of sirop de gomme), and stir.
In the meantime, drop a small amount of double cream in a cocktail shaker with loads of ice, and shake vigourously until the shaker is almost too cold to bear holding.
Add hot coffee to the whisky and sugar, about four-fifths to the top of the glass. Stir.
Very slowly drizzle the ice-cold cream over the back of a spoon onto the coffee. If done correctly, the cream should 'layer' over the coffee, so it looks like Guinness.
Now decorate the top with cocoa powder, chocolate sprinkles, coffee beans etc., and serve. Sláinte mhath!
Pour 35mls of a good Scotch blend (Chivas Regal, Antiquary, Black Label etc.) into a pre-warmed latté glass. Add a teaspoon of demerara sugar (or a dash of sirop de gomme), and stir.
In the meantime, drop a small amount of double cream in a cocktail shaker with loads of ice, and shake vigourously until the shaker is almost too cold to bear holding.
Add hot coffee to the whisky and sugar, about four-fifths to the top of the glass. Stir.
Very slowly drizzle the ice-cold cream over the back of a spoon onto the coffee. If done correctly, the cream should 'layer' over the coffee, so it looks like Guinness.
Now decorate the top with cocoa powder, chocolate sprinkles, coffee beans etc., and serve. Sláinte mhath!
by Terry Deary July 13, 2006
Get the Gaelic coffee mug.n. inf(!) A hoor who specializes in backdoor delivery, and has become so familiar with Cadbury Lane olympics that she desires and eventually, REQUIRES, a daily dose of sodomy.
Priest: Do you, Terry, promise to turn this respectful, sweet and innocent young lady into a nasty, filthy, fusty, slimy, cummy, rotten, shitty, dirty, skanky, rancid, foul, putrid, fetid, horrible little bumslut?
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
Get the bumslut mug.n. Of a human, the orifice which excretes waste, most probably due to the semi-resemblance to the closed eye of an Oriental person. The brown eye, the ringpiece, the rusty sherrif's badge.
Dr. Proctor: Now Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
by Terry Deary July 27, 2008
Get the Winking Chink's Eye mug.