you've been tangoed

(inf. phrase) In reference to the bumming scene in the 1973 Bertolucci movie "Last Tango In Paris" and the popular 1990s TV commercials for the soft drink "Tango" - when you've just shot your creamy load up a bird's arse, this phrase makes the perfect accompaniment to a post-coital cigarette, all the more poignant if you have used butter or Tango as lube.
Me: Was that Cadbury canal cruise good for you too?
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
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HairyBeef

n. cow meat which has at some stage in its production been exposed to hair.
Maw Parker: I got you steaks for dinner kids.
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
by Terry Deary May 28, 2005
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on tour

vt. ("to go on tour"); to go clubbing or on a pub crawl with a collection of acquaintances, with the sole mission to get as bladdered as possible and generally behave in a leary and lecherous manner. See also on the sauce, on the razzle dazzle.

A keen pasttime of
Me: "So are you guys on tour, to the teef?"
Jamie: "Aye, heavy to the who! Bushtucker tour 2006!"
by Terry Deary July 24, 2006
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chip an' chee

n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace British delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. Profoundly sautéed in 'graisse animale', the chips (fries to non-UK English speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the 'pièce de résistance' - a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky "cheddar-syle" cheese available. Voilà! Delicious.

The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
*3 o'clock a.m., any town centre in the UK*
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
by Terry Deary February 24, 2006
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razzle dazzle

v.t. ("on the razzle dazzle", "to razzle and dazzle") When a group of lads join forces in order to become muntered and hopefully get a gobble by the end of the night. From the ancient Greek compounds "razzle" - to drink your bodyweight in tequila; and "dazzle" - to attempt to bone anything with a pulse at a seedy nightclub.

Hopefully, said troops will end up getting their nat king cole, and if they are extremelly fortunate, they will avoid becoming a noted munter-gatherer.
Lad 1: You fancy another Aftershock?
Lad 2: No, too much razzle can ruin your chances of dazzling. And I've got my eye on that fattie in the corner, wobbling her fat arse along to "No Limit".

Lad 3: How's the razzle dazzle going?
Lad 4: Pretty good, £1 a drink so I'm bawspank'd, and that munter that I pulled has a slightly more attractive friend.
Lad 3: Casey and Dean aren't faring so well.
Lad 4: I guess we could go for DVDA with that fattie in the corner?
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
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Bella

n. British rhyming slang for the popular and very strong (5.2% abv) Belgian lager, Stella Artois. Generally used by the politically-correct or mild-mannered public house frequenteur, because the better-known synonym for Stella Artois in the UK is wifebeater.
Barman: What'll it be?
Barfly 1: What's cheap?
Barman: Carling, Foster's...
Barfly 2: Don't get cheap on me, you tightwad! Two pint of Bella, please.
by Terry Deary December 07, 2006
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backdoor surprise

v./n. inf(!) to unexpectedly penetrate someone's anus; often, of a heterosexual couple engaged in doggy style intercourse, when the male withdraws from the vagina, and hilariously re-inserts into the anus without prior warning.

NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
Betty: ... but then, as I... as I was about to... come, for some reason he pulled out... and then... *breaks down sobbing* he.. he put it... oh god! *sobs uncontrolably*
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
by Terry Deary February 24, 2006
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