monkey sheets

Bed sheets stained with spooge because you masturbated and then subsequently ejaculated onto them.
Monkey sheets are frequently characterised by having a queer odour.
{Beavis and Butt-Head dressing themselves as ghosts for Halloween}

{Beavis}: Hey Butt-Head, this sheet smells funny.
{Butt-Head}: Yeah, huh huh. Those are my special monkey sheets.
{Beavis}: O fuck! Get it off! Get it off!! GET IT OFF!!!
by Telephony February 15, 2020
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doucheknocker

A female version of a fartknocker or a buttknocker.
While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some doucheknocker neutralised a hat!!! ♪
{~850ms silence}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪
by Telephony January 23, 2021
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BarneySplat

BarneySplat was a BBS door game that allowed the player to do all kinds of cruel things to our favourite bloated & distended purple dinosaur Barney.

Released by Bong Software in 1993, this text-only game allowed the player to get Barney drunk or stoned; even Baby Bop and the kids get to smoke out and get hammered. You also receive opportunities to kill the satanic purple pedophile ?(along with everybody el;se!) in addition to getting everybody ripped or stupid-drunk until they're all eliminated from the game.

An example screen would look like this:

"I have an idea!" Barney says. "Let's have a TEA party!"
Everyone gets out the tea and cookies, you get ready your arsonic and alcohol.

Fun things to try at the "TEA" party:
(S)pike it
try to make (P)eace tea
or (D)on't do anything
Hey Carlton! That BBS I was just on has BarneySplat in their door games menu!
by Telephony June 22, 2019
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urinal mint

One of those pink urinal deodouriser cakes found at the bottoms of many types of urinals.
Rick, please don't eat the urinal mints!!! I hear that they taste horrible!!!
by Telephony November 29, 2010
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Pecker Rooter

This is a variation of the short song, "Peter Rooter" that appeared on the audio-only album, "Los Cochinos" from 1973.
Hey there swingin' bachelors
Tired of that steady drip
Drip, drip of gonorrhea?
Then Pecker Rooter might be just what you've been waiting for

♪Pecker Rooter, that's the name♪
♪You just flush your troubles♪
Down the drain
♪Rotten Pecker, rotten pecker, rotten pecker♪
by Telephony September 30, 2014
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Faggot Cat

A parody of the song, "Robot Cat" by Logan Whitehurst
On Channel 27 at a quarter to three,

I saw the craziest thing that I ever did see
No cash, no check, no C.O.D.,

so I called them with my credit card, quick as could be
Nobody better get in my way

I got the package in the mail today!
I popped all the bubble wrap and threw it away

Now I'm learning Japanese so I can read what the instructions say

There was a bag of nuts and bolts and screws

It didn't say which screwdriver to use
I don't know what the radiation warning's about,

but hey, that's okay; I can figure it out!
Four legs, rubber bands, sprockets and gears

Laser beam eyes and microphone ears
Put it all together; what did I see?

I saw a faggot cat looking right at me

Well, it slices, it dices, it catches the mices

It's got a stock ticker with the Wall Street prices
Knows how to sew, cook, play the guitar

Say, it even put a new transmission in my car
It's got a titanium cranium, chip in the brainium

Pentium? Best representium
Pour in the eggs, milk, syrup, and flour,

'cause the faggot cat needs pancake power

When I say fag, you say got. Fag, got, fag, got.
When I say got, you say cat. Got, cat, got, cat.
Word to the F to the A to the double-G to the GOT to the C-A-T
So when I say Faggot, you say cat. Faggot, cat, faggot, cat
So when I say Faggot, you say cat. Faggot, cat, faggot, caaaaaaat
by Telephony May 29, 2016
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merferator

Hey, this TP is down to the merferator! Can you toss me another roll?
by Telephony November 16, 2010
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