Telephony's definitions

poo-poo spray

Any type of air deodorant / air freshener that comes in an aerosol bomb (spray can).

{Marge}: Homer, did you just leave a big fat shit in our toliet?
{Homer}: Yes dear, and I even remembered to flush!
{Marge}: The bathroom stinks to high heaven; next time please use the poo-poo spray, ok?

by Telephony July 30, 2016

horse puckey cat

A cat whos ass smells like horse shit.
Cats putting their litterbox muscles in your face is not as uncommon as one might think, so you can get a snootful fairly readily. :-/

Piss you!!! My f'in cat is a true horse puckey cat if ever there was one!!!

by Telephony April 24, 2015

Textie McTexterson

Somebody who spends almost every waking minute on his or her cellular telephone handset texting.

Alex, I've picked out a cellular telephone phone just for you, Mr. Textie McTexterson!!!

by Telephony January 9, 2019

carpet pig

Young children; offspring, kids, spawn, etc.

Hey Helen?
How's that little carpet pig of yours doing?
Has he gotten into any mischief lately?

by Telephony June 2, 2011

dog water

Preseminal fluid (aka., "precum") that comes out of a dog's dick before the actual semen does.
It is very thin (like water) and nearly transparent.

Johnny's black lab is shooting dog water all over the rug because he knows that there's a bitch in heat nearby.

by Telephony August 15, 2020

down the tube

Another way of saying that something is really going to pot -- when you say such-and-such is going down the tube, it is spiraling downhill extremely rapidly.

Man this drone flight is really going down the tube...O FUCK, There's a tree!!! (*CRASH!!!*)

That woman's performance on American Idol started to go down the tube when she forgot a critical lyric to the song she was performing.

by Telephony October 8, 2018

douchebucket

A douchebucket is some asshaberdasher who far exceeds the douchebaggery of a common, garden-variety douchebag.

{Seen in the description of a drone video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some douchebucket piddled in a shoe!!! ♪
{~1.5 second pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 16, 2021