Flying Carpet

Akin to log watching under the glass coffee table, where the missus lays one out and you can watch the delivery without getting a face full of corn. The flying carpet is when she jumps over the coffee table naked, in the style of a Olympic hurdler and you get a snapshot of her hairy tomato barmcake
Peter was giddily chasing naked Marrion around the living room, when she expertly hurdled the living room coffee table, where Shaun was laying in wait, perfectly positioned for a snapshot of her beautiful puffed up fluffy flying carpet.
by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) August 11, 2004
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Bullobango

A game played by eccentric country folk, with an affinity for livestock and who have been staring at the moon for too long. A prize bull is placed in a pen, then the contestant carefully but firmly grabs it by the horns and gently inserts his "full stick" up its' nose. In a vain attempt to remove the offending article, that good old boy will lick the bollocks off the player until the cows come home. The winner is the person who can last the longest, without going off like a rip rap. Time penalties are incurred for making the bulls eyes water or causing it to moo. Participants are disqualified if the bulls eyes roll back in their sockets. Bullobango is the "FULL ON" extreme sport for country zooaphiles. Automatic qualification can be achieved with the aid of a hair lip, lazy eye, or cloven hoof.
Bye 'eck, al tell thee. I were playin' Bullobango last neet, an a never really did have a good grip of ol' Winston. Noo the bartards runnin rownt meadow wi me pips swingin from his horns like a couple o' christmas borballs
by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 24, 2004
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Queen Hair

Refers to the female "axe wound" and the hairs found there upon. If you look closely at the underside of the "roastbeef" you will discover that there is always one hair, struggling for supremacy that is longer than all others. This is "The Queen Hair". If some bitch hasn't properly mopped her dungeon or stamped her feet after a golden shower, the queen hair is particularly adept at retaining that one single solitary last drop of piss. This can then crystallise not unlike the copper sulphate crystals you used to grow at school. If for any reason the queen hair is dislodged or ends up in somebody’s teeth, never fear, there will always be another queen hair ready and waiting for crowning glory.
I was moppin up my bitchs' roastbeef last night and the fuckin queenhair got lodged in my throat. I coughed so hard, I nearly shit my heart.
by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 21, 2004
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Eyes Right

A term used when a nice bit of totty walks past, with all her undercarriage hanging out like a car crash.
Check the camels foot on that, "eyes right, skin back tight". One top hat magoo coming right up.
by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 04, 2004
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Bearded Clam

Abundantly hairy front bum, dungeon, tomato barmcake.
Oh, the bearded
by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 04, 2004
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Wife Beater

Feeling RAF this morning, i've took sixteen pints of wife beater on board last night
by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 03, 2004
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