Submitters of Words's definitions
The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
Get the Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder mug.Similar to the race card, but used by conservatives.
Something they tout as an answer to every single social issue in existence. Such reasoning is fallacious, however, because in actuality life is much more complicated..
Conservative: If people don't want babies, they shouldn't have sex. That way, abortion wouldn't even be necessary. Think, liberals, think! Personal responsibility, people!
Liberal/Moderate: Ok, so if abortion was banned, it's true that less people would have irresponsible sex, and there might be far fewer abortions. You're right on that one. But what about in cases of rape? You can't mount the "personal responsibility" defense there - people don't choose to get raped.
Conservative: Make abortion legal only in cases of rape then.
L/M: Well how are you supposed to know when the hell she's lying then? You'd be encouraging women to lie. Same problem as before, she just has to employ a different method of getting around it. How are you supposed to distinguish between the liars and the true victims?
Conservative: Polygraph.
L/M: In a perfect world, those things are fully reliable. But they're clearly not. Since we don't live in a perfect world, and polygraphs sometimes fail, we may as well legalize abortion considering that there are many cases where it's very necessary. Of course there are whores who will use it as birth control. But that's unavoidable.
Something they tout as an answer to every single social issue in existence. Such reasoning is fallacious, however, because in actuality life is much more complicated..
Conservative: If people don't want babies, they shouldn't have sex. That way, abortion wouldn't even be necessary. Think, liberals, think! Personal responsibility, people!
Liberal/Moderate: Ok, so if abortion was banned, it's true that less people would have irresponsible sex, and there might be far fewer abortions. You're right on that one. But what about in cases of rape? You can't mount the "personal responsibility" defense there - people don't choose to get raped.
Conservative: Make abortion legal only in cases of rape then.
L/M: Well how are you supposed to know when the hell she's lying then? You'd be encouraging women to lie. Same problem as before, she just has to employ a different method of getting around it. How are you supposed to distinguish between the liars and the true victims?
Conservative: Polygraph.
L/M: In a perfect world, those things are fully reliable. But they're clearly not. Since we don't live in a perfect world, and polygraphs sometimes fail, we may as well legalize abortion considering that there are many cases where it's very necessary. Of course there are whores who will use it as birth control. But that's unavoidable.
"personal responsibility card"
Personal responsibility is important but it doesn't take into account factors that are outside of the person's control. For instance, conservatives are operating under the assumption that welfare discourages the work ethic and personal responsibility. But what about people with Parkinson's, or similar diseases? What about valuable workers that have been laid off en masse by struggling companies and need aid to get that back on their feet? Are they necessarily lazy and lacking personal responsibility?
Personal responsibility is important but it doesn't take into account factors that are outside of the person's control. For instance, conservatives are operating under the assumption that welfare discourages the work ethic and personal responsibility. But what about people with Parkinson's, or similar diseases? What about valuable workers that have been laid off en masse by struggling companies and need aid to get that back on their feet? Are they necessarily lazy and lacking personal responsibility?
by Submitters of Words June 15, 2011
Get the Personal responsibility card mug.Just so you Republican asshats know, most of the people on welfare these days are children.
Just look it up you'll see I'm right.
Just look it up you'll see I'm right.
The fact is that if you vehemently oppose any form of welfare these days, you're indirectly asking for the return of child labor.
by Submitters of Words June 30, 2011
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Rick Perry is Dubya 2.0
Rick Perry is Dubya 2.0
by Submitters of Words September 8, 2011
Get the Rick Perry mug.Sarcastic fusion of names Obama and Romney, used by folks who think both politicians are essentially the same, due to their similar policies and the like
by Submitters of Words August 19, 2012
Get the Obomney mug.Similar to the "Just keep swimming" mantra from Finding Nemo, except this applies to.. you guessed it, the caressing of the male organ.
"Just keep stroking, just keep stroking..." is nice to remember when you're in a rut and can't get any.
by Submitters of Words June 28, 2011
Get the Just keep stroking, just keep stroking... mug.by Submitters of Words August 15, 2011
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