50 definitions by SomeBadJoke

The Hitler of metal.

These guys seem to want to rule the metal world with an iron fist, dictating what all metal should be like, look like, and sound like. Not allowing any free thinking at all. No, everything HAS to sound the same. If it's black metal, it's false. If it's modern, it's false. This is exactly what their mindset is. They seem to forget that music is an ART form, and as such, the artists can do whatever the fuck they want with it. But no - instead they act all Hitler-ish and say that their metal is "true", and nothing else is.

Yet, these guys make an absolutely horrible impression of what "true metal" should be. Most of their songs just use the same riff and chord patterns, the same recycled lyrics, and the only talent present in the whole band is in the guitarist WHEN he does the solos. Eric Adams can't sing worth crap, and the drummer - please. "Drums of Doom??" What kind of idiot came up with that? Just because you can bang on your drums really hard doesn't make you talented. Get that through your head.

It's ok to sing about metal. It really is. I'd love songs like that. But these guys take it too far. They have to say that there's "true metal" and "false metal." They have to say that only SOME metal is acceptable and most of it isn't. Why not just accept all metal for what it is - the best music in the world? Why not just appreciate all of it? And most of all, why do you even take out your anger on the SAME genre of music as the one you like??

What is worse, however, is that they've even gained a following of "Manowar nazis," better known as metal elitists. These people go around calling others who don't listen to the "loudest band in the world" posers, ranting up a storm about how any band that plays exceptionally louder, heavier, or growls their vocals is "fake", and that the only acceptable bands are ones that sprung up before the 1990s. The sad part, however, is that the only bands they could name most of the time are Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, and of course, Manowar. People like this make the entire metalhead community look like a bunch of idiots, fighting among themselves over stupid things such as what bands they listen to.

Who cares about Slipknot? Who cares about System of a Down? They're not my favorite bands ever, but I don't go around yelling at people if they want to listen to them. It's their choice, and it's the music they like. You CAN'T change their musical taste, and you CAN'T change their opinion. AND, your opinion is NOT supierior to theirs. Shut up.

Manowar nazis don't want to look past the 80s for their music, which means they miss out on much better power metal bands than Manowar, such as Blind Guardian, Kamelot, Angra, Rhapsody of Fire, etc. These bands have much more talent than Manowar, and can play songs that don't use the same chords over and over, or the same lyrics, or the same cheap sound effects. They don't have to talk about "steel", "the kingdom", or "fighting" in every single song to be good.

I wanted to like Manowar. I really did. But as long as they hold this Nazist belief of metal, I never will.
Typical Manowar lyrics:

"Ohhh!! Fight! For the kingdom!!! I have steel!! Steel in the kingdom!! And I fight! Fight! Fight! Fight with steel! Fight in the kingdom! Fight in the kingdom that has steel!!"

"Warriors!! True metal!! True metal warriors that are true!! Bloody blood of true metal on my hand! It's so true metal! Let's go, true metal dudes! True metal!! YEAAAAA!!!"
by SomeBadJoke March 2, 2007
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1. A fan of the band Manowar

2. A typical Manowarrior cannot go a single minute without calling someone a "poser", without explaining what the said person is posing to be, or how having a different opinion from his makes him a total fake.

3. Manowarriors often look down on any "modern" bands, because they stereotype it as "false metal", just because they're too narrow-minded to realize that Manowar themselves have hardly any talent either.

Sure, they can play guitar solos, but SO WHAT? Thousands of other bands can too. But they don't use the same lyrics in each song (oo, look at me! I can't shut up about steel, and I love to pretend I'm an armor-clad warrior who's gonna fight for glory!), or use the same song structures, especially in the verses (which only consist of a few soft-played chords repeated over and over.. so much for "loudest band in the world" -_- ), or play the EASIEST riffs ever, while holding back any and all actual talent for the solo.

4. A typical Manowarrior also believes that Manowar is a lot more talented than any other band in the world (which was disproven above), and louder than any other band in the world (yea right. Even SIMPLE PLAN is louder than these guys.. and I hate Simple Plan. This is not opinion. Truly, if you were to turn any song by both bands up to max volume, you'd hear the Simple Plan song louder). Once again, these people don't realize that Manowar is definitely not as talented as they say. Everyone knows that the only reason anyone likes Manowar is that they sing about "true metal" and call everyone else "wimps" and "posers", which is where the cries of "poser" to everything anti-Manowar came from. I'm sure that if Manowar never sung a goddamn thing about metal, you wouldn't have liked them either.
I seriously don't have a problem with Manowar as a band, but I don't like their music, and I don't like the message they're portraying. It pisses me off so much how people use this band as a way to justify hatred against people who listen to so-called "false metal" like Slipknot, Korn, Limp Bizkit, or whatever. Sure, I agree that Korn and Limp Bizkit suck, but Slipknot surely do not, and if you read my definition about them, you'll see why.

These people just want to listen to whatever they want. They like the music, so they're not being posers. They're not ruining the image of metalheads. Only anti-metal people are, by calling it Satan-worshipping garbage with screaming lunatics. Therefore, if you are a fellow Manowarrior reading this right now, learn to control yourself, and stop calling people posers. They have a different opinion from you. That doesn't justify you calling them "fake", because surely there are at least a million other people who would agree. It all comes down to personal taste, but you can't say that having a different taste is wrong. So, if someone just doesn't agree with you, don't give a shit, and keep going the way you are.
by SomeBadJoke December 27, 2006
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I'll admit it's a funny movie, but it makes fun of gays way too much. Stupid homophobic people..
"Gaylord Focker" - need I say anything else? Meet the Fockers is more for homophobics than anyone else.
by SomeBadJoke July 28, 2006
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Sprite comic using character sprites from the Megaman game series.

Common cliches in these comics include:
1. Using sprites from Megaman 7
2. Megaman being a total idiot who loves ice cream
3. Bass being even stupider
4. Protoman being a total badass who's more intelligent than Megaman and Bass combined
5. The "author" being a recoloring of Megaman's sprite from Megaman 7 without his helmet
6. Every character (or many of them) being out to destroy the author

There are many of them out on the web, and most of them use the same jokes to make them funny, but many are also quite original and very enjoyable.
Bob and George is a well-known Megaman sprite comic
by SomeBadJoke September 11, 2006
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Sure, ya got the blast beats and fast riffs, and *attempted* growling and screaming, but no, just no - it's not cool. You sound just like every other metalcore band, and it's getting boring.

The only good metalcore bands are Unearth and Shadows Fall. Everyone else just tries too hard.
by SomeBadJoke May 27, 2007
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A metal head is someone who listens to metal. Any metal at all. Shut up with all this "only 80s thrash metal" bullshit, and all the "true and false metal" crap.

Both thrash and nu-metal can be good in their own ways. There's no such thing as a "false metal" band. If it's metal, it's metal. Period. Who cares what genre Slipknot is in? Who cares if Testament is from the 80s? They're both metal, so it's not wrong for a metalhead to like them. I personally like both of them, so just stop the stupid debate of which bands are true and which are not.

However, a metalhead may indeed despise such music as rap, pop, or pop punk, for either being mainstream, or full of shit. And most of it is. However, just because a band is mainstream does not specifically mean it sucks. So System of a Down appeared on MTV. Does that mean they're the worst thing to happen to music since 50 Cent? No! They're simply getting their music out to more people. If you really want to vent your anger out because a band is popular, go take it out on their stereotypical fans, for being such airheaded idiots and making the band look bad - not the band itself.

As for the dress code, there is no set one. Most metalheads, however, can be characterized by either shoulder-length or shaven hair, leather jackets, band t-shirts, and lots of studs and spikes in their accessories. There is also no set way to behave in order to be a metalhead. You don't have to do drugs, you don't have to drink, and you don't have to be the toughest S.O.B. in the world who can demolish 20 asses in a fight. You can be a very friendly sweet person who hates fighting and still be a metalhead.

Just be yourself, and listen to all the great metal you love. That, is what makes you a metalhead. Not taking drugs and ranting about true and false metal. That, is what you call an intentional conformist.
True metalhead: (wearing a Slipknot shirt) Man, I'm bored. Anyone got a metal CD I can listen to?

False metalhead: (stoned out of his mind) yo u stupid lozer, Slipnot sux dik. Why doncha lizzen to true metal liek Pantera and Testament, u fuckin poser! Get high an' drunk, jus' liek all of uz!

True metalhead: For your information, I like both of them, and I don't need to be a stoned fucktard to show it.

False metalhead: Whuh? U cal meh namez?? Gah! (falls to the floor, knocked out)
by SomeBadJoke October 28, 2006
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1. A thrash metal band from the 1980's. Are widely known as one of the metal genre's biggest influences. Some of their best albums are Master of Puppets and their self-titled "Black Album", for those who would like a listen. However, these two albums are really their only good ones.

2. Along with Slayer, one of the most popular bands for "true metal fans" to mention when attempting to tell others not to listen to "fake nu metal". They're not even THAT great, guys. Only two of their albums are really worth mentioning - the ones mentioned above, and those are really old. Besides, they're sellouts themselves (see St. Anger)
1. Master of Puppets is Metallica's best album ever.

2. "Dont lizzen to teh Slippnot!!11 U msut get REEL metyl liek Metallica adn Slayer!!1 lolz!"
by SomeBadJoke August 14, 2006
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