Solo Amadeus's definitions

orderves

How Americans have started writing "hors d'oeuvres".

I went to a party at a bar and all they had to eat was orderves!!

by Solo Amadeus November 19, 2023

Ocular Patdown

An ocular patdown is a visual threat assessment performed by Ronald MacDonald (Mac) or his cousin, Country Mac.

Mac: I did an ocular patdown on him.
Dennis: What?
Mac: I'm saying I did an ocular assessment of the situation, garnered that he was not a security risk and I cleared him for passage.

by Solo Amadeus December 23, 2022

toe spoon

A brilliant Austrian innovation which significantly improves upon the function of the toe knife. The toe spoon completely eliminates any risk of self-injury during the cleaning of scum out of one's toes.

Frank used to swear by his toe knife, but ever since he met Alexi, he has always cleaned the scum out with a toe spoon.

by Solo Amadeus November 30, 2021

Irregular Americans

The politically correct term used to refer to circus freaks.

"I even helped a whole town of circus freaks — dammit, you're not supposed to call them 'freaks' — Irregular Americans."

by Solo Amadeus October 24, 2022

Context High

"Feeling" the effects of drug inebriation through proximity rather than through actual ingestion.

In other words, feeling high because people nearby are high, despite not actually having taken any drugs.

"I wish I hadn't said that out lout to everyone at the party, but I wasn't in my right mind."
"Were you high?"
"Not exactly, but everyone else was, so I ended up feeling a context high."

by Solo Amadeus March 10, 2022

Jazz Friday

An occasional office holiday celebrated on specified Fridays during which employees are encouraged to bring their instruments as well as a "jazz attitude". However, it is subject to cancellation by superiors. The holiday, often shortened to "J.F.", is noted for sharing a lot of similarities with advertising.

Martin and John were thrilled to celebrate Jazz Friday, but Ben canceled it.

by Solo Amadeus January 29, 2022

Tin Foil Garbage Can

A device from Sharper Image that keeps the trash warm so it doesn't get cold and go bad and start to stink.

Tin Foil Garbage Can keeps the trash warm, keeps the garbage good, and keeps the house smelling fresh and not stinking like shit.

by Solo Amadeus January 31, 2022