Definitions by Solid Mantis

Ruler recount 

When two guys measure their dicks and the measurement is too close to accurately determine which one wins the dick measuring contest, you have a ruler recount to get a reading down to the nearest millimeter, or micrometer if you have a way to determine a reading closer than a millimeter reading. Guys don't get anything for participating or improving in a dick measuring contest.

Guy 1-How many micrometers larger did you tell me your dick was? I gotta get a ruler recount I'm not taking your word for it.
Guy 2- .06 micrometers read it and weep you son of a bitch its been 2 hrs and 32 minutes since we started the contest and we had to get the equipment and calibrate it to get this reading. You owe me a drink.
Guy 1- You held your dick the way you'd get as many extra micrometers as possible, you do shit like that, I'm not giving up that easy!

Ruler recount by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Fragile

Delicate. Someone who is delicate is fragile.

The girl was fragile growing up, her mother made sure nobody would break her or her soft heart in the cold world.

Fragile by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Clown 

A clown is a person who entertains for a living. Anybody not getting paid to entertain, or in the entertainment business is not a clown.

Steve was trying to fuck around with the guy thinking he was a clown and it was okay with him and of course things went wrong when Steve found out the guy was not a clown or an entertainer. Steve had no excuse not to know already though, since the guy was not an entertainer or a performer, and Steve would not have seen him on a stage anywhere, he had no reason to think the guy was a clown.

Clown by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Rival

Growing up you had opponents, back when you could break each others bones. Then, opponents became rivals in college. Really rivals and rivalries are for college kids and the ancient Greeks.

The guy had no rival. He sure had some opponents though.

Rival by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Meals on wheels

Eating out a paraplegic or a girl in a wheelchair.

Ricky had his meals on wheels today.

Meals on wheels by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Narcissist 

A guy with no rivals.

You have opponents? You qualify as a narcissist then, since opponents are not rivals.

Narcissist by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Roller coaster 

Another way to say you're fucking somebody in a wheelchair.

Paula rode the roller coaster down the hill, got scared and rode the roller coaster back up the hill where she lived happily ever after with her paraplegic man who was too good to live down the hill.

Roller coaster by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018