Secret Agent Man's definitions

acme

Company Wile E. Coyote always ordered his equipment from, usually with disasterous results. Now in use to denote a shoddy, cheap, or inferior product, the use of which will probably lead to certain doom.

We needed a professional welder, but all we had was Doug and his Acme set.

My drums were stolen, so I'm getting by with this Acme set.

The good news is, they finished my x-rays; the bad news is, I think I saw 'Acme' on the side of the machine.

(Squinting at footage of the shuttle blowing up) Wait... I see... a... c... m... e...

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

UFO

Unidentified Flying Object. Originally a catchall term for anything flying that could not be identified by Civil Air Patrol observers during World War 2. Since then, taken over by lunatics that believe that for some reason, advanced alien civilizations have come to earth, are studying our assholes, and make contact with Roscoe and Billy Bob near their moonshine still in West Virginia. See buy a fucking vowel.

Dang, Billy Bob, give me some of that thar yor drinkin and I might see me some UFO's too! Hot Damn!

by Secret Agent Man September 19, 2003

hose

1. To spray down with machine gun fire.
2. To completely ruin something.

The CO jumped out of the bushes but he got hosed by the VC.

That damn virus hosed my disk drive.

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

self-shaft

In college, a difficult professor might shaft the class. By extension, 'self-shaft' means taking the same class independent study.

Calc 3? I'm taking that self-shaft next semester.

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

Mode

Taken from electronic devices, which can operate in one or more 'modes' and thereby restrict their possible actions to a few options. Applied to humans, this usually is used as a suffix indicating 1. their normal thinking and reasoning abilities have been overridden by something they're 'hung up' on; or 2. their normal drives and ambitions have been replaced by a possibly irrational desire for some particular thing.

I tried talking to him about science, but he just went into Religious Wacko mode and started spouting scripture.

Watch out, those two are in geek mode.

No, I don't want a burger, I'm in burrito mode.

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

buy a fucking vowel

Phrase borrowed (more or less) from TV's "Wheel of Fortune", indicating disrespect for someone's mental abilities. Since generally the contestants on Wheel aren't exactly Einstein, telling someone to buy a fucking vowel is about equivalent to "Get a clue, moron!"

You think the War on Drugs is working? Buy a fucking vowel!

President Bush wants to help the middle class, eh? Maybe he should buy a fucking vowel with his family fortune.

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

gong show

Based on the 70's amateur 'talent' show, the Gong Show. Applied to entertainment, it means cheesy and out of control, OR completely ruined through the good intentions of amateurs.

They had three bands scheduled, but the first one was the total gong show, so almost everyone left.

What the--? I thought this was supposed to be a presidential address, and I get the gong show?

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003