Robert E. Porter's definitions

jizz fizz

(Vulgar slang) - The COCKtail a person performing fellatio receives orally when the one being fellated has an orgasm in their mouth.

Boy, the jizz fizz I got down my throat from sucking his schlong last night was better than drinking a Black Russian!

by Robert E. Porter January 15, 2006

spinbarkeit

1. (n) medical - Term used to describe the elasticity of the cervical mucous at the time of ovulation.

2. (n) an obnoxious or impudent child.

1. I swear I got a slick dick from bumping her spinbarkeit.

2. Aw, go fuck off, ya' little spinbarkeit!

by Robert E. Porter January 22, 2006

fucktool

1. (n.) any sexual accessory or device that closely mimicks the shape of a nice hard cock.

2. (n.) a child or adult who is unwittingly stupid, i.e. a moron or idiot

See also dildo and butt plug.

1. "I want you to ram that fucktool right up my pussy NOW, David! Oh, huhuhuhu!!!"

2. "I told you not to answer the door after ten o'clock you little fucktool!

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

Munching the Carpet

A synonym for eating pussy. The term is primarily used in the lesbian community.

After her win at Wimbledon, Martina was munching the carpet on her fluff girlfriend when I opened the wrong door.

by Robert E. Porter January 17, 2006

vulvitis

1. (n.) Inflammation of the vulva.

2. (n.) A yeast infection that results in a build-up of Vulveeta.

The doctor took one peek at my crotch and said, "Yes, dear... you've got vulvitis. You nasty hoe."

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

tonsil hockey

A nonsense game referring to heavy-action French kissing and deep tonguing.

Mary and John were in the pool playing tonsil hockey.

by Robert E. Porter January 9, 2006

cuntitis

(n) Inflamation of the cunt.

My doctor took one look at my crotch and said, "Yep. You've got cuntitis, sweetheart."

by Robert E. Porter January 22, 2006