Rev. Johnny Blumpkin's definitions

Jerusalem Feet

A nickname for people who have dirty soles and heels, resembling those of people who lived in biblical times. Typically the result of walking in sandals all day and not washing off the excess filth afterwards.

Guy: Goddamn, my wife climbed into bed last night with dirt ass heels and toes looking like she had Jerusalem Feet.
Friend: Jerusalem Feet?
Guy: YEAH!, bitch looked like she'd been walking with Jesus and the apostles all day.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 11, 2025

fruit punch bowl

Slang for a gay man's rectum after several partners have finished inside him in rapid succession.

12 guys just ran a train in the bathroom on some total slut and turned his ass into a fruit punch bowl.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 3, 2019

methadozing

The act of falling asleep sitting up, shortly after taking a dose of Methadone.

Guard #1: How was your well being check?
Guard #2: I walked past cell 31 and inmate Jones was sitting on his bunk, but I think he was sleeping...
Guard #1: Oh, so he was Methadozing?
Guard #2: Oh yeah... he did just take Methadone at med pass.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin June 6, 2018

Cancelitis Nervosa

A form of extreme anxiety about being canceled or impending cancellation due to a history of either out-right or secretive socially unacceptable behavior in one's past. This condition can also manifest due to things that you said or did that USED to be acceptable being deemed unacceptable in current times. This type of worry is especially common among celebrities or political candidates.

Many comedians suffer from Cancelitis Nervosa due to a history of saying risque things in their performances that have become much more problematic in modern times and threaten to derail their careers.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin October 12, 2022

adrian peterson'd

The act of a child getting their ass whooped by their parent for a petty reason.

Last week I was picking my daughter up from school, when another kid dropped his backpack on the ground and got totally Adrian Peterson'd by his dad.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018

shitty yamaguchi

The act of having 2 other people defecate in a shower stall, and then stepping on each turd and sliding around like a figure skater. Popularized by Hinder guitarist Joe "blower" Garvey, as told to the world by Staind vocalist Aaron Lewis.

What do you get when you combine poop, a shower and figure skating? Shitty Yamaguchi.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 20, 2019

Queef Minestrone

The fluid that results from a pussy fart during a woman's period; it's like a bisque of menses and clots.

Queef Minestrone, it's a lot like Tomato Soup, but chunkier and is brewed inside a vagina.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 4, 2019