Rev. Johnny Blumpkin's definitions

Swamp Dust

The flakes of skin that line your underwear after a long day of scratching your sweaty ballbag.

I was loading the washing machine this morning and sneezed from all the swamp dust flying off my dirty boxers.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin August 29, 2019

Strawberry Shortcake

The act of ejaculating inside a woman's vagina while she is menstruating, sucking out the mixture of semen and menses whilst eating her out, then finally, passing the concoction into her mouth during kissing. It is a three part process that involves period sex, felching and snow-balling.

This new girl I am dating is a total freak, she's on the rag and asked for a Strawberry Shortcake. So I busted a nut in her bloody pussy, slurped that shit out while munching her box then spit that shit in her mouth.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin September 27, 2023

wisconsin pretty

A term used to describe an American woman who in most other states would be considered unattractive, but is beautiful by the standards of men from Wisconsin.

Guy: "what do you think of that chick over there by the keg?"
Friend: "you mean the one with the gut and John Denver haircut?"
Guy: "yeah, that one."
Friend: "Well she looks like Rebel Wilson, so I guess she's Wisconsin Pretty."
Guy: "Go Packers..."

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018

bird box challenge

The act of imitating the movie Bird Box, and challenging yourself to complete an otherwise innocuous or petty task while blindfolded.

Guy 1: you wanna try the Bird Box Challenge?
Guy 2: Sure, what do I have to do?
Guy 1: Put on this blindfold and try to cross the street without looking.
Guy 2: Sounds kinda dangerous.
Guy 1: You never know when you'll need this skill man. Everyone's doing it!
Guy 2: Ok... **(puts on blindfold and starts walking across the street, then gets hit by a bus)**
Guy 1: Beautiful.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 2, 2019

Cancelitis Nervosa

A form of extreme anxiety about being canceled or impending cancellation due to a history of either out-right or secretive socially unacceptable behavior in one's past. This condition can also manifest due to things that you said or did that USED to be acceptable being deemed unacceptable in current times. This type of worry is especially common among celebrities or political candidates.

Many comedians suffer from Cancelitis Nervosa due to a history of saying risque things in their performances that have become much more problematic in modern times and threaten to derail their careers.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin October 12, 2022

fruit punch bowl

Slang for a gay man's rectum after several partners have finished inside him in rapid succession.

12 guys just ran a train in the bathroom on some total slut and turned his ass into a fruit punch bowl.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 3, 2019

Suboxone Sway

The slight back and forth rocking done by someone who has just taken a dose of Suboxone. Sometimes it involves sitting in a chair, falling asleep sitting up or just swaying gently while standing up.

Guy #1: Dude, check out that girl over there. She's just rocking back and forth next to the door to the Clinic...
Guy #2: Oh, that's my friend Amy, she's on Suboxone to kick her Heroin habit. She takes that shit and is basically in a trance for a while.
Guy #1: So... she's doing the Suboxone Sway?
Guy #2: nice one!

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin June 6, 2018