Definitions by QuacksO
fortifived
Refers to junk food that has been "junkified" from "four-to-five", indicating that it was so artificially desecrated, and processed for so long a time, that it is now almost totally devoid of original structure or nutritive value.
Junk-food junkie: Yo, dude --- want some of my chips 'n' dip?
Health-food hippie: No thanks, bud --- no offense, but I'd rather not mess up my dietary regimen with any fortifived foods.
Health-food hippie: No thanks, bud --- no offense, but I'd rather not mess up my dietary regimen with any fortifived foods.
fortifived by QuacksO September 20, 2012
die-agnosis
That dreaded “you only have a short time to live” medical report that a doctor detests having to give, and he fervently hopes that there won’t be an ambulance-chaser within earshot.
Doctor: “Zheesh, I’m not looking forward to presenting that old geezer with my die-agnosis --- knowing him, he’ll likely slap me with a malpractice suit even though I’ve honestly done all I could for him. This aint my fault --- as I've tried to tell him a thousand times before, it’s his own dissipative lifestyle that’s killing him.”
die-agnosis by QuacksO September 1, 2012
I-itis
A mental condition of excessive selfishness. Can eventually lead to me-osis if left unchecked or untreated.
Neighbor: Zheesh, that closed-minded guy next door has sure got a serious case of “I-itis”! Wouldn’t surprise me if it turns into “me-osis” before too long!
wreckless
Often-misunderstood-by-adults term used by teenagers to honestly describe their early years of careful and accident-free driving ("my early wreckless years"). Parents and authorities, naturally, are usually way too thick-headed and closed-minded to realize what the virtuous teens are referring to, and so they continue to criticize the teens as being scatterbrained and out of control, rather than praising them for their exceptional lifestyles and commendable habits.
Parole officer: So, young man, I understand you've been drinking for three years now?
Teen: Yeah, I started way back in my wreckless years.
Parole officer (disgustedly): Ahhhh... so you had no brain-sense back THEN, either, eh?
Teen: No, no, no... what i meant was ---
Parole officer (impatiently): Nah-ah --- no need to explain. I believe I am getting the picture perfectly loud and clear. I'm gonna recommend another three months' probation for the likes of you.
Teen: Yeah, I started way back in my wreckless years.
Parole officer (disgustedly): Ahhhh... so you had no brain-sense back THEN, either, eh?
Teen: No, no, no... what i meant was ---
Parole officer (impatiently): Nah-ah --- no need to explain. I believe I am getting the picture perfectly loud and clear. I'm gonna recommend another three months' probation for the likes of you.
Ta-tas for now
Phrase spoken by a female to express her wish to a male that he touch her only above the waist for the time being
Guy (having had his arm gently pushed away when he was reaching under his girl’s skirt): Ah --- is it “that time of the month”, honey?
Girl (in a somewhat sorrowful tone from having to disappoint a guy whom she really likes a lot): Yeah, it is… sorry. I’m afraid it’s just ta-tas for now… I’m all yucky-messy “down there”.
Girl (in a somewhat sorrowful tone from having to disappoint a guy whom she really likes a lot): Yeah, it is… sorry. I’m afraid it’s just ta-tas for now… I’m all yucky-messy “down there”.
Ta-tas for now by QuacksO June 12, 2012
genieologist
Someone who obsessively collects antique glass bottles in the hope that there may be a genie in one of them.
Guy #1: Zheesh, dude, look at all those colored glass bottles sitting in the windows of that old fart's mansion. Must be a thousand of them!
Guy #2: Yeah, bud; weird, huh? Must be a genieologist.
Guy #2: Yeah, bud; weird, huh? Must be a genieologist.
genieologist by QuacksO February 23, 2012
living will
A type of inheritance-document which releases and distributes assets while the bequeather is "still with us"; particularly common among "unpopular" geezers with greedy impatient young heirs: said geezer fears that said heirs may conspire to "off him before his time" because they do not love or care for him personally, and so they just want him out of the way so they can get their grabby hands on his money sooner. So this kind of WILL may better insure that he can go on LIVING a while longer; it also allows him to monitor and stipulate how his money is being used, something he could not do after his death.
Seniors club member #1: You mean to tell me that you gave your nephews their inheritance money now?! How come?
Seniors club member #2: Oh, just a precaution in an effort to live longer --- a living will is cheaper than hiring a bodyguard!
Seniors club member #2: Oh, just a precaution in an effort to live longer --- a living will is cheaper than hiring a bodyguard!
living will by QuacksO December 28, 2011