QuacksO's definitions

character ass-sass-ination

Refers to publicly-voiced derisive/uncomplimentary remarks/details ("sass") made about someone regarding his less-than-perfect-looking posterior ("ass").

(a prime example of character ass-sass-ination, from an old "Blondie" cartoon) Mrs. Dithers: In my younger days, I had quite a following.
Mr. Dithers: And she still does, heh, heh, heh... (cheekily placing his hand beside his mouth as if to prevent his wife from hearing his "aside" remark) ...but her dress-maker keeps it well-hidden!
Dagwood (staring down at Mr. Dithers' prostrate figure that's sprawled untidily on the floor as his irately-unamused wife stomps off in a huff): Do you see stars, Boss?
Mr. Dithers: Stars?!?? I can see the entire AURORA BOREALIS!!!

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

fart dieseling

Da embarrassing (or hilarious, depending on who you talk to, and/or whether da emotions-feeler is da "actor" or da "observer") interval of "run-on" dat sometimes occurs following da "main event" --- i.e., yer butt-trumpet keeps on "purrin' like a kitten" for an extended period afterwards, rather than just "saying its piece" and then being done wif it.

In da uproarious "National Baked Bean Month" speech, da formally-dignified speaker experiences a major bout of fart dieseling towards da end, totally goofing up said oration but majorly putting his audience in stitches.

by QuacksO June 12, 2024

Juss flappin' yer coat-tails

In other words, juss sassin' ya. Comes from da playful-but-annoying practice of coming up behind someone who's wearing a long jacket with a divided lower back, grabbing da jacket just above da slit, and then vigorously/rapidly yanking da lower part of da jacket in and out to make da pair of tails slap against da person's butt.

Me: If yer too warm, why doncha go take a dip in da ocean?
You: Jump in da ocean??? Are you crazy??? It's chilly and whitecaps-windy out there!
Me: I know, I know... juss flappin' yer coat-tails...! :D

by QuacksO March 23, 2019

pier pressure

Trying to force someone to act in a certain way or perform a certain action by making him stand at da very edge of a platform so dat he fears falling off.

Captain Hook tried using "pier pressure" on Wendy --- i.e., telling her dat she either had to join him in his pirating escapades or walk da plank --- but fortunately Peter Pan arrived just in time, and freed Wendy and her friends before any harm befell them.

by QuacksO December 26, 2022

local Lauren forcement

What we'd have if Ms. Bacall was sheriff.

Since da former Mrs. Humphrey Bogart was such a strong proponent of women's rights, said famous Liberal-Party actress might have had to do some major 'weeding of da ranks" --- or at least instigate a robustly-potent gender-fairness-training program --- if she'd assumed a "local Lauren forcement" role, since not all of da deputies under her control might have been similarly equality-minded.

by QuacksO March 17, 2024

single-letter difference between God and the IRS

Said letter is "R" --- God tells us to "PRAY with faith and without ceasing", whereas the IRS tells us to "PAY with faith and without ceasing". Otherwise, both "mighty entities" are essentially the same... they act like they've got your best interests at heart, but in reality they just mercilessly "milk you for all you're worth" and then turn their backs on you when you've been drained dry... no further explanation necessary.

Come to think of it, the single-letter difference between God and the IRS isn't the only direct correlation between the two "superpowers" --- because the IRS tells us to PAY so much, it causes poorer folks to PRAY to God a lot more due to their worries over becoming even more destitute from shelling out for their income taxes!

by QuacksO November 25, 2018

protective cusstody

Imprisonment designed to shield someone from swearing and other crude language.

What good is protective cusstody if da jailers and other officials of da clink grumble and/or shout profanity/obscenity-laced remarks themselves?!??

by QuacksO January 24, 2023