QuacksO's definitions

centaurnarian

A person who grows an extra pair of legs after reaching the age of 100.

George Burns lived to be 100; I wonder if he would have become a centaurnarian if he'd stayed around another year?

by QuacksO March 16, 2019

spudometer

A handy-dandy gauge dat tallies up how many potatoes you've harvested, prepared, eaten, etc.

If da Little Red Hen had been baking potatoes instead of bread, her non-helpful colleague-animals would have glanced at their individual spudometer-readouts and found dat they all displayed da exact same humiliating/disappointing tally-figures:

"Number of spuds planted: 0
Number of spuds tended: 0
Number of spuds harvested: 0
Number of spuds prepared: 0
Number of spuds baked: 0"
And lastly, of course {{{drum roll}}} ---
"Number of baked spuds given me to eat: 0"

by QuacksO April 29, 2021

Sisters of Mercy sin

Refers to an act of ordinarily-frowned-upon nature, but which in extreme circumstances could be overlooked or even approved of. Comes from the nuns' surreptitiously ripping out the plug-wires and spark-coils from the Gestapo's cars so that they couldn't pursue the von Trapp family in "The Sound Of Music"; the emotionally-shaken-but-still-demure habit-clad heroines then ask their Mother Superior for forgiveness, which it can be assumed that she readily gives, considering the horrid fate that would likely have befallen the von Trapps had they been captured.

I needed a few additional nails to complete a super-urgent repair- project, but there was nobody at the hardware store, so I had to just take the nails without paying for them at the time. Again, though, the nailing-task had to be completed right away to avoid fairly horrendous consequences, so I felt that my action was really pretty much a Sisters of Mercy sin. Plus of course I did indeed "square up" promptly with the store afterwards, so the end-result was fine.

by QuacksO November 7, 2018

checkered career

A not-so-stellar past moral/business record of someone who's either a board-game player or a cab driver.

Any taxi-operator who has a history of playing board-games wif his passengers --- either by parking someplace and moving da game-pieces around instead of expediently conveying da customers to where they're going, or even partaking of said sedentary recreation while actually he's behind da wheel, and thus not properly keeping his eyes on da road --- would definitely be viewed as having a checkered career!

by QuacksO July 14, 2023

buyohazard

A strain of mind-altering bacteria dat da government secretly spreads among da populous in a clandestine effort to hopefully cause them to make more shopping-trips.

Shortly after a serious of unusually-heavy airliner-released vapor-trails appeared over a populated area, many local residents reported feeling inexplicably desirous to head to Wally-world and stock up on da latest fashions and popular media-titles --- sounds like a classic buyohazard-distribution to me!

by QuacksO April 11, 2020

counter-fit

1. A "copycat" temper-tantrum that someone else throws in order to show an overly-explosive person "how horrible/ridiculous it looks".
2. A rage that someone flies into upon being "busted" for trying to pass fake money.

I wonder if that infamous thirteen-dollar-bill-proffering dude had a counter-fit when the backwoods-hillbilly shop-owner offered him "a six and a seven, or how about three three's and a four" as change for his "funny money"?

by QuacksO February 16, 2019

primal facie

An "obvious" type of evidence that proves that someone has reverted back to his "early species" mindset.

The ease that Geico had in finding a number of cavemen for their auto-insurance ads is primal facie evidence that there are still plenty of "un-evolved" hominids among us.

by QuacksO June 24, 2019