lasseration

An incision either occurring on or caused by a female human.
Anytime I go returnables-collecting wif a cute chick, I always take it upon myself to do any crawling back into briars or other "dangerous to one's skin" areas to retrieve discarded empties, so as to avoid her delicate complexion's getting any lasserations.
by QuacksO August 04, 2021
mugGet the lasserationmug.
The standard bu**s**t reply that a professed religious-freak half-heartedly tries to appease you with whenever you ask a "tough" theology-related question that he does not actually have a "ready" or "satisfactory" answer for, such as, "Well, if God truly loves Mankind, why does He allow bad things to happen to good people?", or, "Yeah, right --- well, tell me this, then --- if your 'perfect God' is so kind and compassionate and merciful, why did He allow my {some beloved relative/friend who became deceased way too early in life} to die?!"
I get sooooo sick ‘n’ tired of hearing that stupid-a** wooden-smile-expressioned response of "Well, that's something best left up to Jesus Christ," whenever I indignantly fire back a perfectly logical question at a local Bible-blabber who is trying to "bring me into the true fold” --- hey, I'm not interested in waiting for "Jesus Christ" to answer my question "all in His good time"!! I want an actual straight solid definite answer --- and one that truly makes logical sense to me --- RIGHT AWAY, not in FIFTY BLEEPIN' YEARS or however long I'm sposta hafta wait to "receive divine enlightenment”! How da HECK can a supposedly-enlightened "born-aginner" except me to wanna listen to his b**l-crap preachings or accept his beliefs if he himself can't even come up with a proper answer to a simple query that a non-believer would logically ask him? Zheee-yeeesh --- he isn’t even following the “old Scout motto” of “be prepared”!!
by QuacksO November 12, 2018
mugGet the That's something best left up to Jesus Christmug.

royal flush

Can refer to either of two "throne-based" occurrences:
(A) An embarrassing event which causes red-cheeked humiliation ("flushing") to The Crown, such as Charles and Diana's rocky/brief marriage after such a lavish/heavily-hyped wedding, their subsequent affairs, and Di's suspicious/untimely death.
(B) A humongous porcelain-bowl rinsing with abnormally-copious floods of H-2-0; it involves filling two or more buckets or other sizable vessels with water, raising the toilet-seat and removing the tank-cover, and then recruiting one or more assistants with strong muscles (AND strong **stomachs**!) so that you can then both hold the toilet's handle down and quickly pour additional water into the tank and down the bowl at the same time, creating a massive torrential swirly that is far more voluminous and longer-lasting than usual. This extreme measure can indeed be **sometimes** effective for clearing a plugged toilet-drain, but it can also messily "backfire" (i.e., send filthy stinky water cascading out in all directions) if the clog decides to be extra-stubborn --- user-discretion is strongly advised. Use of liquid/gel drain-opener is not recommended here, either, in case of said "backlash", since the errant drain-opener can cause severe burns and/or property damage.
My toddler-nephews love to spool off yards of tissue and toss it down the crapper when they come to visit, and so the wife and I are always obliged to give the guest-room toilet a royal flush after they leave.
by QuacksO December 17, 2017
mugGet the royal flushmug.

Exxoff

Refers to where you opt out (as in, marking an "X" to "sign off") of purchasing anything from Standard Oil Company.
Thousands of people did a total Exxoff after the Valdez tanker-accident in Alaska in 1989.
by QuacksO August 02, 2019
mugGet the Exxoffmug.

catastrohphe

A severe mishap caused by and/or involving either Austrian rum or Detroit beer.
In da infamous/hilarious "How to change the oil in your car --- woman's way vs. man's way" essay, da dude's beer-soaked way has about ten times as many steps as da gal's, and ends in a total catastrohphe!
by QuacksO July 28, 2021
mugGet the catastrohphemug.

khandom

A protective rubber sleeve designed to fit over da love-pipe of a male prior to said appendage's "performing its function", and intended to prevent unwanted pregnancies and other disagreeable "surprises" caused by sexual intercourse among genetically-engineered humanoids.
Perhaps Captain Kirk wished dat da parents of a certain hot-tempered and overly-rebellious male associate had worn "khandoms" prior to said "wrathful" individual's conception!
by QuacksO December 24, 2022
mugGet the khandommug.

raybies

Da illness dat David Bruce Banner contracted from his irresponsible experimenting wif gamma-wave crap. Besides developing green skin and grotesquely-bulging muscles, symptoms of said disease typically show up as brief periods of super-human strength, intense anger, irrational limb-flailing and roaring, etc.
If da Incredible Hulk had raybies due to excessive exposure to gamma-particles, I wonder if dat is something like what happened in da case of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, as well --- maybe da nasty medicinal cocktail dat da Good Doctor drank was laced wif a radioactive substance dat produced a similar "normal vs. maniacal" effect?
by QuacksO May 24, 2020
mugGet the raybiesmug.