QuacksO's definitions

mortar and pistol

What former-Prez Ray-gun used in his various attempts to "crush" opposition to his foreign policies that were pro-big-biz at the tragic cost to the local inhabitants of said oppressed/conquered areas.

It's fortunate that the Iranian hostage-crisis was settled before "Prune-Face Ronnie" was elected, or the tense-but-stable situation might have gotten far worse if said senile loud-helicopter-utilizer had started using his "mortar and pistol" policies to try to get said captured Americans freed.

by QuacksO February 4, 2022

wrestaurant

An eating-establishment where "it's like pulling teeth" to get service, decent portions, etc.

If Ebeneezer Scrooge --- well, before da three spirits reformed him regarding his greedy/miserly ways, of course --- had tried his hand at operating a diner, folks would have disgustedly referred to said outfit as a real "wrestaurant".

by QuacksO March 25, 2022

preputation

How well you're known for "doing your homework" beforehand.

I'm well known in da community for my careful/thorough cleaning and priming of surfaces to be joined and/or coated before applying da adhesive, sealant, paint, etc. Now DAT'S a preputation dat I'm actually very GLAD to have developed!

by QuacksO June 19, 2021

auntiequated

Denotes da "super-old-fashioned" items and/or "old-school" lifestyle dat your parent's sister prefers.

My mom's family came from very humble beginnings, so I always loved spending time with my mom's elderly sister Bess, since her way of speaking and doing things was so delightfully auntiequated.

by QuacksO September 21, 2019

real estate

The various areas of a person’s body, particularly the “juicy” parts”.

Guy who wants to give a girl a massage: Don't worry, hun... I promise I’ll just touch the “acceptable” parcels of real estate --- when the sign says, “Keep off the grass”, I keep off the grass! (Acknowledgements to Charles Bronson)

by QuacksO November 26, 2011

M.D. Golden Rule

Can mean either MODERN DAY GOLDEN RULE or MEDICAL DOCTOR/DENTIST GOLDEN RULE. Illustrates the degraded/depraved state of the human psyche in the self-centered dog-eat-dog world of the 21st Century.
Modern Day Golden Rule:
(1) "Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you"... in other words, CLOBBER EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO A SHAPELESS PULP SO THAT THEY CAN'T "GET" YOU FIRST! (Never mind that those other hapless mortals may not have had any thought/intention whatsoever of harming you... why take the chance???)
(2) "Do unto others IF they have done unto you"... in other words, never do anything nice or helpful for anyone unless you get PAID to do it, or unless THEY DO SOMETHING FOR YOU IN RETURN. Nunna this "charity/volunteer" or "out of the goodness of your heart" bullcrap!
(3) "Do unto others AS they have done unto you"... in other words, TAKE REVENGE! Whup their sorry butts twice as hard as they hurt you (even if they never intentionally meant to offend), or sue the pants off 'em in court!
Medical Doctor/Dentist Golden Rule: "Do unto other SO THAT THEY ARE FORCED to do unto you"... in other words, INTENTIONALLY CAUSE A HEALTH CRISIS WITH YOUR CLIENTS, so that they will then be compelled to pay you hefty fat fees to "cure" them!! Perform needless/destructive surgery, give them medicine that you know they will react allergically to, pick around on their teeth to create new cavities if none are already present, and so on.

I try very hard to just behave myself, keep a low profile, and not get sick if I can possibly help it --- there are too many human jackals out there who practice the M.D. Golden Rule.

by QuacksO February 8, 2013

diarrhey

A written record of your liquid-poop events, laid out in chronological order.

Older folks sometimes like to tell anyone who'll listen about their gastronomical mishaps, but da only person who really wants to hear their entire diarrhey is their gastroenterologist!

by QuacksO November 11, 2021