QuacksO's definitions
The infamous coffee-imbibing Captain of the U.S.S. Juan Valdez that ran aground in Alaska's Prince William Sound and spilled huge quantities of Colombian coffee into the bay.
Somebody at X-on shoulda known better than to hire a sea-captain with a name like Joseph Hazelnut --- both his first AND last names would give a normal person da coffee-jitter nerves... "joe" is slang for coffee, and "hazelnut" is an actual FLAVOR of coffee... NOT a good combination for calm and alert piloting of a huge tanker-vessel through the reef-laced waters off Alaska!!
by QuacksO August 9, 2018
Get the Joseph Hazelnutmug. The greatest cop-out in the parent/grownup world, this phrase is uttered when the adult is not able/willing to address/alleviate a totally legitimate problem or concern that a child is complaining to him about. Even worse is if the adult uses amused/cutesy/sarcastic expressions and/or actions to accompany said invalid statement, such as giving the kid a couple quick pats on the cheek for "dismissive emphasis and finality", giggling while speaking, saying, "You wanna know what I *honestly* think?" beforehand, opining that "somebunny" needs the nap (which of course makes the child all the more upset and humiliated, since this makes it appear to the child that the adult is not even really listening to him or taking what he has to say seriously), etc.
Statement: You need a nap.
What is really meant: I don't have the time/money/authority/inclination to help resolve your problem, and/or the bratty/overbearing person who is mistreating you is related to a "somebody" who is important to our family, and so I don't dare make a scene or try to demand that you be treated better by him. But I'm afraid to be truthful with you about this because I've always promised you that I will protect you and correct any wrongs in your young life, and so if you find out that I was "just saying that" but actually am not always able/willing to help you in every case, you will hate me as a parent and never trust me again. Same thing happened with me and your grandparents when I was little.
What is really meant: I don't have the time/money/authority/inclination to help resolve your problem, and/or the bratty/overbearing person who is mistreating you is related to a "somebody" who is important to our family, and so I don't dare make a scene or try to demand that you be treated better by him. But I'm afraid to be truthful with you about this because I've always promised you that I will protect you and correct any wrongs in your young life, and so if you find out that I was "just saying that" but actually am not always able/willing to help you in every case, you will hate me as a parent and never trust me again. Same thing happened with me and your grandparents when I was little.
by QuacksO October 2, 2017
Get the You need a napmug. An Amish "rite of passage" period whereby teenagers are permitted to indulge in certain "wild 'n' free" actions of "them English" --- such as "guzzling da Gordon's" and watching fake-fight scenes on TV --- in order to experience life outside of their communities and thus be better able to decide whether they want to continue with their insipidly-boring and oppressively-strict religion-steeped Amish ways, or live like da normal public does.
Somehow, da whole idea behind rumspringer seems like a very destructive and unwise idea... rather than Amish parents' allowing their children to totally "whoop it up big-time" --- and partake of unhealthy/dangerous activities dat could likely harm and/or negatively influence them permanently --- on just dat one glorious debauched-freedom-steeped period of their lives, why not instead merely "ease off a bit" on some of da most oppressive rules, and therefore simply let their children have a slightly-more-pleasant existence for da ENTIRE REST OF THEIR LIVES??? Da old adage, "Don't spend it all in one place!" comes to mind here --- kind of like if someone wastefully squanders his entire disability-check in just da first few days of da month ("Oh, boy --- PARTY TIME!!!) and then has nothing left to use over da entire remainder of da month, and thus has to just miserably sit around and mope in dissatisfied dejection for nearly four weeks till his next "helping of lifeblood" is released to him! Why not instead just carefully dole out said precious limited funds-allotment a little at a time over da entire month, so dat he will have enough for everything he needs?
by QuacksO February 12, 2023
Get the rumspringermug. What grammar teachers would like to charge their students if they use crappy English in their oral/written assignments.
Mary Kay Letourneau wasn't prompted by a "puffed score" deal when she chose to be intimate with her student; she merely liked him a lot, and vise-versa. She still hadda pay quite a "sintax", though --- a significant jail-sentence, participation in a probationary-program period, etc.
by QuacksO October 20, 2023
Get the sintaxmug. Gluttonous children often don't realize how agreedgious it is for grownups to hafta cook more food just to satisfy their voracious appetites.
by QuacksO February 20, 2024
Get the agreedgiousmug. Various facts and details dat da state and/or local government needs to obtain from a less-than-capable person to determine what benefits and assistance he qualifies for.
I make sure to always have any and all relevant infirmation handy whenever I re-apply for SSI and Food Stamps.
by QuacksO January 27, 2023
Get the infirmationmug. A b**ls**t US-government branch that is responsible for the eroding of our infrastructure and negatively impacting the lives of its citizens in general.
Ever since "The Donald" came to power, most of the government branches have largely "jumped the fence" and consolidated themselves into one huge Department of the Deterior!
by QuacksO August 10, 2018
Get the Department of the Deteriormug.