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QuacksO's definitions

"ultimate" fingers-crossing

Refers to where you also manually cross your ring-finger over-top of "Big Boy", and then cross "Little Boy" over-top of your ring-finger; the theory is that perhaps this will give you a better chance of not getting your a** blown off than you'd have from crossing just your first two fingers. Extra points if you cross all four fingers of both your hands in this way, and/or if you also scuttle around and similarly-arrange da hand-appendages of any and all bystanders (provided their fingers are slender and limber enough to fairly-comfortably do so, of course) prior to saying, "Well --- here goes nuttin'"... with THAT voluminous number of "overlapped digits", it would conceivably put pressure on Fate to allow your endeavor to succeed, similar to how a prayer-chain supposedly does with God.
My elderly neighbor had given me a ride downtown to fill my water-jogs at the local public faucet, and he was concerned that his car's severely-worn starter wasn't going to "mesh in" correctly when he turned the key. So I jokingly showed him the "ultimate" fingers-crossing when he was ready to try starting his car; he looked at my seemingly-impossibly-"pretzeled" fingers and said a bit sadly, "Zheeesh --- I could NEVER do that with my poor old craggy arthritic fingers!", and then tentatively "twisted da brass" and beamed appreciatively when the car's engine whirled right over! "I guess crossing your fingers like that DID work," my friend chuckled.
by QuacksO November 21, 2018
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vaudevillain

Someone who "plays da bad guy" during a multi-act stage-show.
In "Huckleberry Finn", da King and da Duke were both just "regular rapscallions" who were out to cheat their audience-members, and so one could indeed accurately describe them as real "vaudevillains".
by QuacksO April 5, 2020
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Walter Crankyite

Jeff Dunham's grumpy newscaster-puppet.
Lots of the folks who tune in to daily radio/TV news-broadcasts do so largely because they enjoy the pleasant/efficient manner of the announcer (think Lowell Thomas and Dallas Townsend), so I would wonder if Walter Crankyite would really get all that many people who would wanna listen to HIM read the latest headlines.
by QuacksO May 11, 2019
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mixed messages

Confusing texts dat you send to others while you're drunk off your a** from imbibing mixed drinks.
If someone is "out on da town" for a night of hitting all da pibs, it might be good to turn off your cell phone and/or disregard any texts from said imbiber till sometime da next day, since he'll likely be sending you mixed messages during that period.
by QuacksO March 21, 2019
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derelicktion of duty

Failure to perform tongue-action between a woman's legs after agreeing to do so as part of a contract.
A lot of guys want to "do it" just with their hoo-haws, so whenever there is an offer to perform cunnilingus as "payment" for said "ultimate favor", perhaps the gal should always half-expect a derelicktion of duty to occur!
by QuacksO December 2, 2024
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momularity

Da degree of how much da general public likes/approves of da lady who gave birth to you.
Slick Willie initially had great "popularity" due to his having fathered Cute Chelsea, but then said pubic --- I mean, I mean --- **public** admiration took a major nosedive after it came out dat he'd ALSO gotten his "willy slicked" --- i.e., his guy-pole lubed and coated with "girl cream" --- from a number of ladies other than his also-enjoying-great-"momularity"-of-her-own wife Hillary!
by QuacksO November 15, 2023
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emphemera

Vintage tobacco-product ads and other related crap that a select few touched-in-the-head antique-freaks actually view as collectables.
Now that not so many people buy their cigarettes anymore, tobacco companies are gonna hafta resort to making reprints of their old now-illegal ads to sell to emphemera collectors.
by QuacksO May 31, 2018
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