The criminal act of "lighting a fire" under someone's posterior in an attempt to get him to agree with you or otherwise do what you want.
Bill Clinton told Monica Blewinsky to keep her trap shut about his infidelity with her; a clear case of arseon, if you ask me.
by QuacksO March 18, 2019
If a merchant has a "volume discount" policy whereby he will "match decibels with discounts" --- i.e., if your vocal-level is 25 dB when you ask for a cheaper price, you get 25% off; raising your voice to 30 dB gains you 30% off, etc. --- then da key would be to actually haul in a moderately-powerful PA system wif huge boomy loudspeakers --- or show up wif several of your buddies speaking through high-wattage megaphones --- and really B-L-A-S-T your price-easement request at a HUNDRED decibels... not only might you indeed obtain said products at no charge, but da shop-owner might simply be more than happy to give you da merchandise for free just to get you and your deafeningly-noisy equipment or bullhorn-toting retinue outta his joint!! :P
by QuacksO March 15, 2023
Describes what da state your of health will be if you partake of da infamous "magic inch" Mediterranean briar.
Consuming tobacco in ANY form --- cigs, pipes, snuff, chew, vapes, bongs, etc. --- is comparably harmful; no fancy-schmancy design of da selected smoking-instrument makes consuming said toxic-chemicals cocktail much if any less precareyous.
by QuacksO June 19, 2023
Refers to da "fourth base" action dat you perform wif your bed-partner in da middle of da night because one or both of you couldn't sleep for some reason.
Allowing your main squeeze to insominate you may indeed cause HIM to become sufficiently relaxed and "worn out" to fall asleep, but YOU may be kept awake YOURSELF afterwards from wondering if he either got you preggo or gave you an STD!
by QuacksO January 01, 2022
A sickeningly-glaring comparison of da wasteful nature of many of us "lucky duckies" in da good ol' You-Ess-of-Ay", as opposed to how much cheaper we could accomplish simple stuff if we just paused a moment and used our heads for something besides a hat-rack! Don't even get me **started** on THIS one...!
The American way vs. the economical way "just to change a light bulb" in your Christmas-tree string:
The American way: Freak out, then hop in your CAR, DRIVE to da nearest WAL-MART, BUY a 0%!$@#& ENTIRE PACKAGE OF BULBS, DRIVE back home, remove ONE BULB to replace da spent bulb, and then toss da rest of da bulbs in a junk-drawer, where it'll never see da light of day for decades, whereupon you'll sell it for a quarter at a yard sale! (Note --- extra points if you later discover dat you actually STILL HAD da small bag of spare bulbs dat originally came wif da light string! :P) Total cost: $11 ($8 for da bulbs, $3 for travel-gas)!!
The economical way: Coolly notice da burned-out bulb, then calmly consider your options... first, see if you might actually have a few spare bulbs around; if there isn't a small bag of dem in da box dat da string came in, do you have another light-string you aren't using, and that you could temporarily "borrow" a bulb from? And if not, just don your coat/boots, then take a leisurely stroll around town, looking for homes/stores dat use da same kind of bulb for their own light-strings; go ask these folks if they have any extra bulbs dat came with their light-strings, and if you could purchase one for 25 cents. Or go to da local thrift-store and ask if they have any old/broken light-strings in their rummage-bins dat you could buy cheap, or scrounge for discarded light-strings at da dump. Total cost: ZILCH --- or at most maybe fifty cents for da bulbs!
The American way: Freak out, then hop in your CAR, DRIVE to da nearest WAL-MART, BUY a 0%!$@#& ENTIRE PACKAGE OF BULBS, DRIVE back home, remove ONE BULB to replace da spent bulb, and then toss da rest of da bulbs in a junk-drawer, where it'll never see da light of day for decades, whereupon you'll sell it for a quarter at a yard sale! (Note --- extra points if you later discover dat you actually STILL HAD da small bag of spare bulbs dat originally came wif da light string! :P) Total cost: $11 ($8 for da bulbs, $3 for travel-gas)!!
The economical way: Coolly notice da burned-out bulb, then calmly consider your options... first, see if you might actually have a few spare bulbs around; if there isn't a small bag of dem in da box dat da string came in, do you have another light-string you aren't using, and that you could temporarily "borrow" a bulb from? And if not, just don your coat/boots, then take a leisurely stroll around town, looking for homes/stores dat use da same kind of bulb for their own light-strings; go ask these folks if they have any extra bulbs dat came with their light-strings, and if you could purchase one for 25 cents. Or go to da local thrift-store and ask if they have any old/broken light-strings in their rummage-bins dat you could buy cheap, or scrounge for discarded light-strings at da dump. Total cost: ZILCH --- or at most maybe fifty cents for da bulbs!
by QuacksO August 25, 2018
How someone of "conservative mind and superior morals" disapprovingly describes an excessively-butt-baring outfit that a young lady wants to wear to a social gathering of some kind, such as a dance, party, or school prom.
A lot of times when a middle-aged-or-older matron or neighborhood gramma cluckingly criticizes a teenage girl's somewhat-revealing gown as "just assking for trouble", one should seriously wonder if her real reason for objecting is that she is simply jealous that **she herself** no longer possesses a cute firm behind --- or maybe NEVER DID to begin with --- and therefore she is no longer "getting any" from the available hot hunks around town, and so she cannot stand to see a shapely younger filly gaily showing off her "merchandise" for all da raging-hormone-steeped youngblood-studs at da gathering to lust over.
by QuacksO October 26, 2018
Refers to the enormous sideways "expanding" of the "honesty line" (i.e., the "straight 'n' narrow" ink-trace that is drawn when the subject is not lying) that occurs whenever Hap Shaughnessy takes a polygraph test while reciting one of his grandiose tales of phenomenal past accomplishments/escapades.
When his fellow villagers disgustedly waved off his amazing tales of howling adventures and intrigue during his trip as an ambassador, Will Rogers indignantly snorted that he hoped that a building would fall in on him if he'd "padded the facts" at all about his recent political adventures, and a huge brick chimney immediately did collapse and shower him with bricks and powdery mortar-dust (he wasn't hurt -- no worries). Kind of a crude and "extreme" polygraph-device, but it did indeed show that Will had evidently been stretching the truth somewhat.
by QuacksO April 16, 2019