"checks and balances" system

A form of government-operation whereby you are guaranteed "level" or "fair overall" treatment if you are generous with your "checks" to bribe local/state/federal officials, or if you are sufficiently rich (i.e., you have a large enough "balance" in da bank) that said officials feel obliged to make special allowances for you.

We may ostensibly have a "checks and balances" system, but it never seems to help out "da little guy" very much.

by QuacksO January 01, 2019

killowatts

Or "killerwatts". Refers to da voluminous "angry pixies" dat Debbie Jellinsky utilized to try to eliminate da Addams family; thanks to Pubert's "nick of time" re-wiring actions, however, said spendthrift black widow ended up merely frying herself.

Perhaps Debbie Jellinsky should have initially used a milder dose of killowatts to make sure that the electric-chair wires were hooked up correctly before she applied the "mega-zap" that totally reduced her to a pile of ashes.

by QuacksO September 19, 2019

clockadile

A scaly toothy "overgrown lizard" who always knows what time it is.

If you choose not to wear q wristwatch when venturing into da swampy bayous, but instead figure on asking a clockadile for a time-check, dat's all well and good --- just be aware, though, dat consulting said ferocious-fanged aquatic resident might very likely be hazardous to your health, especially if he decides to try da sneaky ol' "come closer so dat I can hear you" trick!

by QuacksO August 30, 2019

jibberish

Da weird incomprehensible babbling lingo/slang/dialect dat "seasoned" mariners use when discussing da triangular sail at da prow of a schooner.

I always take an experienced sailor along with me whenever I venture very far from shore in my sailing-yacht, to help me translate the rapid-fire jibberish spoken by the rest of my crew.

by QuacksO October 18, 2019

exspearmints

The testing and research that Wrigley's chemists performed to create the confectionary formula used in their famous delicious gum.

Wrigley's is doing some top-secret exspearmints to find the perfect taste for a gum to rival the competition.

by QuacksO January 22, 2013

insinewrated

Da totally "burned up" feeling dat you get when someone else wins da "lean muscle" competition.

Try not to feel too jealous or insinewrated when a grotesquely-muscle-bound hunk wins da weight-lifting competition --- a lot of those "ripped" folks follow an exercise regimen and "special" diet dat would likely make you feel yucky and hungry all da time.

by QuacksO July 29, 2021

Three consonants and a dozen vowels

A humorous way of saying you are exhausted; the word you'd be referring to would be, "Sleeeeeepeeeeee......". If you're more or less tired than that, simply adjust the number of vowels accordingly, such as "three consonants and eight vowels" for being "normally" weary, or "three consonants and TWENTY vowels" for being limply-plastered-on-da-bed zonked.

Weary girl, texting a pleasant-natured willing-to-help-anyone-out dude who's frequently assisted her in the past: Any chance you could come over and help me move this big heavy couch so that I can vacuum the floor underneath it?
Dude: Ummmm... three consonants and a dozen vowels.
Girl: "Sleeeeeepeeeeee"???
Dude: Sumpin' like dat... had a long day. Mebbe first --- yawwwwwn --- first thing tomorrow morning? Gimme a wake-up call when you're up and about?
Girl: Sounds good. And of course I'll need a shower after I finish all da dusty sweeping and vacuuming, so I'll let you take it with me, as an extra incentive and thank-you gesture for your help.
Dude: Nice. Will you also let me crawl in bed wif you after we towel off, and we can enjoy a nice long warm skin-to-skin cuddle-nap together?
Girl: Of course --- what better way to reward ya back, eh??

by QuacksO August 16, 2018