Poor Woobie's definitions

Working Man's Wedding Proposal

Occurs when a woman presents a man with a positive pregnancy test, and shortly thereafter, they are married. The wedding is usually performed without fanfare at a courthouse or VFW/Bingo hall by a justice of the peace.

Man 1: What's wrong?
Man 2: The girlfriend gave me a Working Man's Wedding Proposal last night. I gotta meet her at the courthouse during my lunch break today.
Man 1: Damn, that sucks.

by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008

ClearBlue Uneasy

The anxiety a man feels when he is waiting for the results of a store-bought pregnancy test his girlfriend or female sexual partner just took. Being ClearBlue Uneasy implies 1) that pregnancy is greatly feared and not at all desired, and that 2) the man is fairly sure he wants no permanent ties to said woman.

After missing her period, my lady friend took a pregnancy test last night. I was ClearBlue Uneasy for three whole minutes until thankfully, the results were negative. Lesson learned. I will now tone down the number and frequency of my casual sexual encounters for fear of accidental reproduction.

by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008

Freezer Flavor

When something has been in the freezer so long, that when you cook and eat it, it tastes like everything else that it shared the freezer with over the previous months/years. This is rarely a good thing. The taste of said food is known as freezer flavor.

It is a direct result of freezerburn in many cases, and in others, such as with ice cubes, can be a result of age.

While cleaning out the freezer, I found an unpackaged corn dog in the very back, covered in frost and hidden behind a Swanson dinner. Smiling at my good fortune, I microwaved it and took a bite. Unfortunately, the corn dog had been impregnated with Freezer Flavor, and tasted like onions, fish, rust, and grape popsicles.

by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008

Last Shot Hot

When an otherwise unattractive or downright ugly woman appears to be attractive because she is the last resort, or "last shot" a man has at engaging in intercourse for that particular evening.

Another interpretation is that the woman appears attractive only after the man has had "one last shot" of alcohol.

It was last call at the bar, and Duane had yet to find a woman at the bar to go home with. In his drunken desperation, the overweight 40-something brunette with a missing front tooth appeared attractive to him. After talking her up and taking her home for coitus, Duane awoke the next morning to her hideous visage, and found that unfortunately, she was only Last Shot Hot.

by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008

Members Only

When a bar/party/scene is inundated with males, much to the chagrin of bachelors looking to meet single women. Referred to as such because seemingly every person in attendance has a "member" a.k.a. a penis.

See also: sausage fest, weenie roast, swordfish fry, etc.

Guy 1: Let's go to the party at Steve's house tonight.
Guy 2: Hell no! It's always Members Only at his parties. I actually want to get laid. Let's go to the club instead.

by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008

Rise and Shame

When you wake up the morning after a regrettable drunken sexual encounter. Usually accompanied by a brutal hangover, a dirty, guilty feeling, and a quick exit from the vicinity.

Adam woke up at 7am, the woman he hooked up with the night before still passed out beside him, though significantly less attractive in the early morning light. He smelled like cigarettes, sweat, and Axe bodyspray, and his mouth tasted like Jagermeister and stale beer. He quickly dressed and scurried out of the woman's apartment, trying his best not to wake her and thus avoiding the need to have the awkward "When are we gonna go out again?" conversation. Adam had indeed executed the perfect Rise and Shame.

by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008

Glidey

When an excess accumulation of sweat and filth between one's buttcheeks enables said person to walk faster and with longer strides (or "glide" if you will). This occurs because the ass sweat reduces friction between the buttocks. Unfortunately, the benefits of being glidey are far outweighed by the drawbacks, which include: anal soreness/irritation, rashes, and localized chafing in the anal area.

One is said to be "glidey", or to have a case of "glideys".

Glideys can be caused by not wiping properly, heavy sweating, not bathing, or any number of other factors.

While walking across the parking lot in the afternoon heat, Morris immediately regretted having been so hasty in cleansing his anus after defecation. The squishiness between his buttocks, coupled with the frictionless strides he was suddenly able to take, led him to realize that he was Glidey.

At the end of the Skee-Lo video "I Wish", Skee-Lo performs a dance that appears to be possible only with the assistance of a severe case of the Glideys.

by Poor Woobie March 11, 2008