9 definitions by Poor Woobie

When something has been in the freezer so long, that when you cook and eat it, it tastes like everything else that it shared the freezer with over the previous months/years. This is rarely a good thing. The taste of said food is known as freezer flavor.

It is a direct result of freezerburn in many cases, and in others, such as with ice cubes, can be a result of age.
While cleaning out the freezer, I found an unpackaged corn dog in the very back, covered in frost and hidden behind a Swanson dinner. Smiling at my good fortune, I microwaved it and took a bite. Unfortunately, the corn dog had been impregnated with Freezer Flavor, and tasted like onions, fish, rust, and grape popsicles.
by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008
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A New Jersey Paper Route occurs when an intoxicated person proceeds to vomit and/or defecate on his neighbors' front porches and/or driveways while attempting to walk back to his/her house.
After a night of heavy drinking and pounding techno music, Salvatore made the mistake of stopping by Tony's Diner for a meatball sub. The greasy meal combined with his already drunken state caused him to vomit on one neighbor's driveway, and have a violent bowel movement on another neighbor's front porch. When he finally made it to his front door, Salvatore could only grimace at the repurcussions his New Jersey Paper Route would usher in the following day.
by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008
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When an otherwise unattractive or downright ugly woman appears to be attractive because she is the last resort, or "last shot" a man has at engaging in intercourse for that particular evening.

Another interpretation is that the woman appears attractive only after the man has had "one last shot" of alcohol.
It was last call at the bar, and Duane had yet to find a woman at the bar to go home with. In his drunken desperation, the overweight 40-something brunette with a missing front tooth appeared attractive to him. After talking her up and taking her home for coitus, Duane awoke the next morning to her hideous visage, and found that unfortunately, she was only Last Shot Hot.
by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008
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An office/cubicle farm/building where white-collar corporate drones while away their lives.

Air-conditioned Hell is also any corporate job that one finds demeaning, boring, repetitive, or unsatisfying.

While not hard work in the sense of manual labor or any physically demanding job, putting in 40 hours a week in air-conditioned Hell can take its toll on a person, often resulting in one or more of the following: fatigue, irritability, contempt, rage, and excessive attendance of happy hours.
I have to drive for an hour in traffic each morning so that I can take my seat in air-conditioned Hell.

I hate going to bed on Sunday night, because I know that when I wake up in the morning, I'll have another week of air-conditioned Hell to endure.

by Poor Woobie March 10, 2008
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When an excess accumulation of sweat and filth between one's buttcheeks enables said person to walk faster and with longer strides (or "glide" if you will). This occurs because the ass sweat reduces friction between the buttocks. Unfortunately, the benefits of being glidey are far outweighed by the drawbacks, which include: anal soreness/irritation, rashes, and localized chafing in the anal area.

One is said to be "glidey", or to have a case of "glideys".

Glideys can be caused by not wiping properly, heavy sweating, not bathing, or any number of other factors.
While walking across the parking lot in the afternoon heat, Morris immediately regretted having been so hasty in cleansing his anus after defecation. The squishiness between his buttocks, coupled with the frictionless strides he was suddenly able to take, led him to realize that he was Glidey.

At the end of the Skee-Lo video "I Wish", Skee-Lo performs a dance that appears to be possible only with the assistance of a severe case of the Glideys.
by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008
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The anxiety a man feels when he is waiting for the results of a store-bought pregnancy test his girlfriend or female sexual partner just took. Being ClearBlue Uneasy implies 1) that pregnancy is greatly feared and not at all desired, and that 2) the man is fairly sure he wants no permanent ties to said woman.
After missing her period, my lady friend took a pregnancy test last night. I was ClearBlue Uneasy for three whole minutes until thankfully, the results were negative. Lesson learned. I will now tone down the number and frequency of my casual sexual encounters for fear of accidental reproduction.
by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008
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When a bar/party/scene is inundated with males, much to the chagrin of bachelors looking to meet single women. Referred to as such because seemingly every person in attendance has a "member" a.k.a. a penis.

See also: sausage fest, weenie roast, swordfish fry, etc.

Guy 1: Let's go to the party at Steve's house tonight.
Guy 2: Hell no! It's always Members Only at his parties. I actually want to get laid. Let's go to the club instead.
by Poor Woobie March 12, 2008
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