7 definitions by PiltDownMcMahon

Verb: To 69, or conduct oral sex with your partner while they simultaneously reciprocate.

In a more common context, the word "scratch" is applied to the activity of rasping, or digging with the fingers, or nails. Examples of this useage can be seen in the phrase, "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." In this slang context, that phrase is amended to, "You suck my junk, I'll lick yours." Of course, those verbs can be further amended to allow for gay/lesbian scratching, or different oral techniques.
"John, I've douched... you ready for a nice scratch?"
"Golly, Jane! That'd be swell!"
by PiltDownMcMahon March 7, 2008
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Verb: The self-stimulation of a female's external reproductive organs, especially through repeated back-and-forth motions. This word is most accurately applied when the female is getting a "quick fix", and masturbating through her undergarments. "Scratch" is both a description of the motions involved with, and sound produced by this word's proper execution.
"Jane, I'm heading into the bank for a second, will you be okay waiting in the car?"
"Sure, Sue, I think I'll just scratch the snatch for a bit... take your time in there."
by PiltDownMcMahon March 7, 2008
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Verb: Draw-p A muz-lum

The act of defecating, specifically when the load feels like it may explode, and when it is quite probable that you may die when it blows. Originates as a play on the Muslim group, the Shiites, whose religious title looks remarkably like the English word, "Shit." Needless to say, they are probably well aware of this resemblance, and will laugh uproariously with the extensive, nay, global usage of this phrase.
Jane: John, are you OK?
John: Good God! I think this is gonna be a suicide bombing!
Jane: What?!
John: Pull the fuck over! I gotta go drop a Muslim!


John: NOW!!!

(Sadly, John did not make it)
by PiltDownMcMahon April 15, 2008
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Exclamation: Oops, I shat my pants!

Origins of the phrase are unknown, but experts suspect that it was developed over 9000 years ago, when Al Gore, while chatting on teh internets, discovered that he had been pwned by Bush in the race for The White House. After this happened, Gore promptly ran crying to his mother, and, in an act of irresponsible imperialistic adventurism, invented global warming to distract people from the conspicuous scat-stain on the back of his trousers.
<&Tipper69> lolz... u r teh best 4 president!
<%ManGorePig> srsly! i r president????1????
<&Tipper69> OMG! bu5h is teh prezident!
<%ManGorePig> but i had at least 100 more votz!
<%ManGorePig> ...
*%ManGorePig is AFK, OISMP!
<&Tipper69> Again?
by PiltDownMcMahon March 10, 2008
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Noun: A large, un-flushable log of feces. These behemoths of the turd kind are shot out, primarily, by gay men. This is because their anus is stretched so wide, that the shiznits escape at diameters upwards of half a foot. One may often find these fecal relics occupying the last stall of public restrooms.

Hey, new guy! We got a code red! Grab that plunger, and some sulfuric acid, and go defuse that gay torpedo in the men's restroom!

by PiltDownMcMahon February 26, 2008
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Glass Bowl: The scientific term used to describe the 'glassification' of the desert regions of the Middle East after the inevitable mass-nuking heralding the iconic end of the Bush Administration.
Jane: I heard on CNN that the Middle East will be turned into a glass bowl in 20 minutes!
John: Yeah, I'm already on the live YouTube feed!
by PiltDownMcMahon April 15, 2008
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Giving someone a mickey D's is when you piss in another person's mouth from a great distance. The resulting stream of urine represents the McDonald's golden arches as it makes its way into the mouth of your hapless victim/kinky sex-partner.
I tried to give Jane a Mickey D's last night. Apparently my aim is a little off...
by PiltDownMcMahon March 4, 2008
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