Definitions by OldOllie

Viking Funeral 

When you're smoking a cigarette while taking a dump, and you lift up your junk and toss the butt into the bowl, and it lands on top of your turd and keeps burning. The only solution to this tragic epic is to give the fallen warrior an expedited trip to Valhalla through the boiling kettle of Hymer, i.e., a courtesy flush.

I was smoking in the john this morning, and I got a Viking funeral. I had to give it a quick flush before it totally stunk up the place.

Viking Funeral by OldOllie July 21, 2016

Detroit facelift

Putting Preparation H under your eyes to tighten the skin and reduce puffiness (pretty much the same thing it does to your asshole).

Wow! You look like you got high and fucked all night. You can't go to church looking like that. You'd better get a Detroit facelift.

Detroit facelift by OldOllie December 3, 2013

Grumpy 

A turd left for someone else to find, either in an unflushed toilet or in a more creative location.

The manager made me stay late and clean up, so I left a grumpy in his desk drawer (or the sink, or the coffee maker, or the printer, etc.).

Grumpy by OldOllie February 24, 2010

French hobble 

A method of partially disabling a person by cutting a hole in his scrotum and sticking his foot through it.

If that rotten son of a bitch shows his ugly face around here, I'll put a French hobble on him!

French hobble by OldOllie September 25, 2007