Old Phardt's definitions

Woke sealion

Person who makes unreasonable demands for evidence of the existence of cancel culture.

Smith: If I criticised Black Lives Matter's disgusting racism at work, I'd lose my job.
Jones: Prove it.
Smith: Oh for God's sake stop being such a woke sealion.

by Old Phardt June 5, 2022

Wokewoad

Hair dyed blue.

"Did you hear that Neil's announced they're trans and want everyone to use 'they' pronouns?"
"I knew something was brewing when they went full wokewoad."

by Old Phardt April 4, 2022

Taking the knee

Woke racist lunge exercise

I'm not watching the footie again until the morons stop "taking the knee"

by Old Phardt December 30, 2021

Woke smurf

Angry person with blue hair. Typically morbidly obese and militant about fat acceptance, claims to be trans, often to be found in white knee socks and hotpants.

For some reason I can't quite put my finger on, there are very few Harry Potter fans in the woke smurf community.

by Old Phardt December 30, 2021

Woke racist

Gratuitously unpleasant behaviour towards white people because of their race, usually 'performed' by other white people.

"The New York Times capitalises 'black' while not capitalising 'white'. Honestly, that's so woke racist."

by Old Phardt August 27, 2021