Ohio driver's definitions

Football boner

This is when you are really excited about football season.

Tommy had a hige football boner all week, waiting for football to start on Friday night.

by Ohio driver September 5, 2019

Cheez-It hangover

this is the feeling of dehydration and overall malaise that you get in the morning after eating half of a box or more of Sunshine brand Cheez-Its.

you're late again! what's up?

oh, this time I have a good excuse. It was a Cheez-It hangover.

Ouch. that is the worst snack food to have a hangover from

by Ohio driver March 28, 2012

Peanut butter passout

This is when you eat too much peanut butter too quickly without a beverage, and it coats your throat so much that you can't breath and you pass out.

I told him that peanut butter passout was the breathing version was of an ice cream headache. He thought I was making this shit up!

by Ohio driver January 25, 2017

Cleveland Dreamer

the thing that gives Browns fans a stiffy and solace during the crisp fall evenings when the days shorten and the temperatures drop while the football season is still young: the hopeful prospect of beating the Pittsburgh Steelers, not once, but TWICE, in a single season. This is the maniacal fever dream of all desperate Browns fans.

--Did you hear Reggie going on about the Browns taking it to the Steelers twice this year?

--Yeah the Browns are already 0-5. Reggie's a real Cleveland Dreamer.

by Ohio driver January 26, 2013

ohio highway special

this is common phenomenon whereby on an n-laned highway in ohio, n drivers will drive side-by-side for several miles, thereby prohibiting passing in any lane. this isn't conspiratorial, just a fact for whatever reason. most common on 3 lane highways were you wouldn't think this should happen.

--you're running a little bit late.

--yeah, ran into an ohio highway special.

--i know how that goes!

by Ohio driver July 25, 2011

emofunnel

this word is pronounced like emotional, but the "sh" in emotional is replaced with an "f" sound in emofunnel, which is a combination of emotional and funnel and describes a person who is not only emotional but also likes to draw others into her or his web of emotions in the manner of a vortex or a spider lures prey to the inner linings of its web. Like a liquid into a funnel, you are too far in once you're involved with an emofunnel. it can be an adjective or a noun.

--Did Sheila tell you her sob story about how she spilled milk on her wedding dress?

--Yeah, how ironic is that, that she's crying over spilled milk and telling everybody about it. She loves that crap.

--She is such an emofunnel. (Or, alternatively, one could say, She is so emofunnel.)

by Ohio driver January 6, 2012

Gatorfake

This is the phenomenon whereby a person ingests one food or beverage item while thinking of another, which inevitably throws one for a gustatory loop. (The namesake is from the author's own experience of taking a drink of water while looking at and thinking of Gatorade and his subsequent surprise at the lack of slightly syrupy texture and sugary palate punch.)

After my run, I was lookin' in the fridge for somethin' sweet, ya know, to restabilize my blood sugar 'n all's I found was some OJ behind the milk, 'n then I took a swig a my water, totally thinkin' o' that OJ, 'n I was totally gatorfaked.

by Ohio driver October 26, 2012