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OJ Skrimpson's definitions

Someone who abstains from mood altering chemicals, with the exception of snorting their Suboxone prescription and smoking spice.
Hell nah I don't want any alcohol bro, I'm Madison County Clean now and don't have time for your shanigans. But could I let you sleep with my girlfriend for a ride to the Sub doctor? Also, could I smoke this Katy stick on the way if I roll the windows down?
by OJ Skrimpson March 15, 2026
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A prescription of benzos (i.e. Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, &/or Valium). Called Cause Numbers because I always wake up in jail with a new cause number after taking 1 too many.
I woke up in the drunk tank again, beaten and with no memory of what charges I was being held on. Blame it on those Cause Numbers again!
by OJ Skrimpson March 15, 2026
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Xanax induced hiccups, especially from Xanny Bars (AKA White Sticks).
He had a pocket full of stolen lighters and couldn't stop hiccuping. It was clear that he had the Stick-ups.
by OJ Skrimpson March 15, 2026
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The act of screaming into the urn of a deceased person that left this world owing you money.
It was a lovely funeral service for grandpa, except for the screamation ceremony performed by his ex wife. She just couldn't accept that grandpa left this world owing her $6. She yelled so intensely into his urn that she got ashes in her eyes!
by OJ Skrimpson March 13, 2026
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When you go to jail and are withdrawing from drugs, specifically opiates, and spend the majority of the week shitting your brains out.
I got arrested and couldn't make bond. Looks like it's gonna be a Shart Week for me in jail unless I can perform a sexual act to score some opiates.
by OJ Skrimpson March 7, 2026
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Street food smuggled via the ass into prison.
These Ass Burgers sure are tasty, but they're much greasier than I remember.
by OJ Skrimpson January 8, 2026
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Methamphetamine made my shaking a bottle, but a little too heavy with the lithium.
That Grimace Shake had me up without sleep for so long I thought I was a McDonald's mascot all week.
by OJ Skrimpson January 8, 2026
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