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Definitions by Norbert Colon

Soapy Tit Wank.
The act of having oneself wanked off between a lady's breasts. There are two versions "North" and "South". The view for the lady is rather poor in the South version.
Lady Guinevere told King Arthur, you shall get your soapy tit wank good Sir, but Southwards, I don't want skid marks on mine stomach.
stw by Norbert Colon October 21, 2004

monkey wank 

1. A situation note entirely going the desired way.

2. Of something which is totally useless.
As the chief engineer watched the new bridge come crashing down on its first opening plunging 100 cars and occupents into the river below, he was heard to comment "This is turning into a pile of stale monkey wank"
monkey wank by Norbert Colon October 15, 2004