bertie big bollocks

Smarmy retort directed at someone who thinks he's charlie big spuds.

Look at him trying to snipe that kive. Who does he think he is, bertie big bollocks?

by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004

oats

Northern slang for nailing some kive. Predominantly used by charlie big spuds after ten cans of stella and a test-tube of jagermeister or five.

"I wanna get my oats with Charlene Krank."

by Monkey Handler November 22, 2004

wankerchief

Any piece of fabric used to clean up your man mess after a session with the lingere section of the Kays catalogue.

"Ah man, that's rank. I just went into your room to get a CD and stood on your wankerchief!"

by Monkey Handler June 23, 2005

snipe

The act of waiting until your mate's put in all the ground work chatting up some kive, jumping in the second his back's turned, pulling her and then taking her home to show her your beefy treat.

If you dare snipe this kive I'm talking to I'll ram that bottle of blue muck so far up your arse you'll be shitting green for a month.

by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004

beefy treat

The cock. Only in reference to showing it to some lucky lass.

She looked like hazza with a tub of butter when I showed her my beefy treat.

by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004

schteve

The lowest order of burbery cap-wearing townie. Probably drives a Nova, almost certainly reads max power magazine, definately owns elizabeth duke jewlery. Can be found in the vicinity of other people called schteve, will usually depart after repeated punching.

"Y'aright Schteve?"

Yeah Schteve, how's it goin' Schteve?"

"Check out the big bore on ma Nova Schteve."

"Ah, nice one Schteve, looks reem Schteve."

Fucking pikeys.

by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004

hazza

big hairy dog, also known as smeag, smeagol, schteve etc. Chases cats, lays eggs and listens to radio 2 in the dark place.

hazza managed to break into the microwave and eat that 2 month old curry. c'mere hazza... good boy.

by Monkey Handler November 23, 2004