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"Ok", she began, "so he like, asked me out, but I mean, when I like, asked if he was like, into "Cheer" he dropped Ted Danson, Kirstie Alley and, like, Shelley Long and I mean like, whose great-grandparents are they??? So I gotta do some online carbon dating first."
by Monkey's Dad October 26, 2020
Get the online carbon dating mug."At the rate I'm going, I should get there by Nineteen-0-scuse me", she offered, on her way to California, pedaling her stationary bike for all she was worth.
by Monkey's Dad June 29, 2023
Get the Nineteen-0-scuse me mug.The new Fear of Flying, where people on a plane are inches apart and, once seated beside someone coughing, there is nowhere to escape.
Advised to distance himself from other humans, needing to get to Chicago, he assessed the flight risk and decided to drive.
by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020
Get the flight risk mug."If I die, I die", she said. "I'm not letting anyone even try to convince me to get that shot". And no one convinced her, and she went maskless to her early grave, a proud vaccophobe, and an example of how America had been made "great again".
by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2021
Get the vaccophobe mug.They share a common feature, beyond their gender and ethnicity. Americans who commit almost all mass shootings and other crimes of hate have the same uninflected, flat stare, easily seen in hundreds of photographs.
From Atlanta to Gilroy, through Las Vegas to Rockford, Orlando, El Paso and Oklahoma City, the locations and victims too many to count, the mass killings in America were not carried out by any of the hotly-feared groups targeted by the Far Right and the NRA. Mug shots reveal that in almost every case, the perpetrators were dead-eyed white men.
by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2021
Get the dead-eyed white men mug.He accepted that he was a 2020 Social Climber, longing to be invited to any party, where he would weave fanciful stories of having been anywhere, and rubbed elbows with anyone.
by Monkey's Dad March 29, 2020
Get the 2020 Social Climber mug.A dishonest, untrustworthy person's first, seemingly innocuous gesture that should have tipped you off as to their character.
It was many years later, after he had left her for her best friend, that she realized - his stiffing the waiter on their first date was a snake preview.
by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020
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