Cellphcentered

A common state of being in which a person's life is directed toward and extracted from their cellphone, to the exclusion of actual experience.

She's so cellphcentered she can't take a shower without the freakin' thing in her hand. From the shower, tripping down the stairs, getting honked at while crossing the street, eyes on her phone, she's like, having dinner with tonight's guy she met through her cellphone, covertly staring at the same cellphone in her lap as she swipes right on the next three guys and sends breakup texts to the last three. Ask her the color of tonight's date's eyes, I dare you.

by Monkey's Dad October 22, 2019

I never thought I'd be saying this

A phrase often heard as 2020 nears its end and people are forced to acknowledge some very strange things.

To have the family home for Thanksgiving would be suicidal, and I never thought I'd be saying this.

I never thought I'd be saying this, but we came within an inch of losing our democracy.

by Monkey's Dad November 19, 2020

Zoommates

Two or more people who regularly share online Zoom meetings.

They could no longer meet in class, or in the office, but after weeks of online meetings they felt like Zoommates.

by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020

hope

An aspiration, a vision, a concept of betterment - the thing we cannot live without, the most essential element in the human spirit.

As 2020 ended, as 2021 shone with promise, there was reason for hope and much to hope for. Regained dignity for America, a life where everyone could once again move freely, could smile and touch, could breathe together without fear.

by Monkey's Dad January 01, 2021

wrydyllic

Perfect in every way, no foolin'.

Describing her wrydyllic Hollywood upbringing, with her famously absent, movie-star father, her alcoholic mother's three-day orgies that allowed her no place to hide, her joyous hitch-hiking escape up the coast to Haight-Ashbury at 14, she kept a straight face and slight smile, the better to confound her interviewer.

by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020

Smart Lives Matter

Those who understand that the words "Please wear a mask" do not mean: 1) carry it in your hand, 2) wear it around your neck or 3) wear it covering your chin but not your mouth and nose.

YOU! ... Yes, you, coming within inches of me, breathing in my face, with YOUR MASK SECURED AROUND YOUR ELBOW! please respect my right to live even if you don't care about your own, because Smart Lives Matter.

by Monkey's Dad September 14, 2020

psick joke

Humor in such poor taste it is a symptom of psychosis.

Was she really aiming to get a laugh by mocking a gender-neutral, disabled person of indeterminate ethnicity, an age-challenged, vaccine-addled, undocumented person whose worldly belongings were spilling out of a shopping cart as they slowly tried to cross the street in front of her car while she leaned on the horn? It was by every standard worse than un-funny. It was deranged, a psick joke, but one she hoped would get her the gig she yearned for - hosting the 2025 White House Correspondents dinner.

by Monkey's Dad September 16, 2021