Monkey's Dad's definitions
Heather's posts centered around her anxieties, her phobias, her delusional self-image - photos of herself taken today, taken ten years ago, taken when she was born - complimenting herself in a variety of ways, and her friends obliged, from empathy, 'liking', 'sharing', telling her how beautiful she still was, knowing she was a Facebook patient.
by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
Get the Facebook patient mug.She refused to be vaccinated, certain that Bill Gates had engineered the whole pandemic to take over the world. The shot would implant a microchip in her brain. Bill Gates would know where she was at all times, what she bought, the websites she visited, what songs she liked. She had learned this from her i-phone, which was always on, always in her hand. She was a certifiable vaccadoodle and if she perished from Covid, at least Gates would never know.
by Monkey's Dad February 15, 2021
Get the Vaccadoodle mug.A long-awaited collaboration from the creators of Mad Men and Breaking Bad - Matthew Weiner and Vince Gilligan. Millions of homebound fans, desperate for a new binge, are hoping TV history will be made.
Don Draper sees the writing on the wall - a third of the storefronts on Madison Avenue are vacant. Realizing that in Covid-depressed America there is not much left to advertise, not much to buy and little reason to buy it, he goes in search of Jesse Pinkman, and the temptation of Breaking Mad.
by Monkey's Dad December 27, 2020
Get the Breaking Mad mug.Wanting what is best for everyone, including oneself, not, as commonly believed, what is best only for oneself.
He knew it was in his self-interest to help as many people as possible thrive and prosper, in comfort and safety, that only then could he ultimately thrive and prosper.
by Monkey's Dad May 13, 2020
Get the self-interest mug."My Little Puddle in the Bed": When texted, an intimate erotic endearment, eclipsing the historic 'Ma Petite Chou-Fleur", (my little cauliflower,) and leaving the fabled Frenchman distinctly in second place
by Monkey's Dad November 21, 2022
Get the mlpitb mug.He listened respectfully at first, filled with compassion, tears forming in his eyes as she narrated having been abandoned as an infant, left in a dumpster high in the Sierra-Nevadas, rescued by dumpster-diving circus riders who put her, untethered, on the back of a jumping stallion every night till she was sixteen. Years later, escaping one night off the coast of San Diego she waded into the ocean, hoping to end it all, only to be netted by Tijuana shrimp fishermen who forced her to peel shrimp for years in a rickety boat, the best life she's ever known, before falling overboard in a hurricane and washing ashore in San Francisco at the precise moment an 7.4 earthquake hit. How she got to the Greyhound station in Sparks she was still unclear, and could he spare a hundred bucks to help her find her rightful family, whom, she believed, might at this moment be remorsefully searching for her on the outskirts of Death Valley. By now dry-eyed and stone-hearted, he reached into his wallet for a five, which he slipped into the outer pocket of her spangled handbag and, not looking back, hopped quickly onto his bus while she prattled on with her Tale of Whoa!
by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2021
Get the Tale of Whoa! mug.Pandemic, contagion, death rate, infections, coronation, coronaviral, isolution... they kept appearing in the Disturbin' Dictionary when he was just looking for a laugh.
by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020
Get the Disturbin' Dictionary mug.