Monkey's Dad's definitions

Wankee Doodle Dandy

Boris Johnson, born in the United States, now, somehow, Prime Minister of Britain.

The ghost of Churchill returned to 10 Downing Street just long enough to be stunned that his once-dignified office was being sullied by this Wankee Doodle Dandy.

by Monkey's Dad September 21, 2019

Hey Nineteen

Foretelling COVID-19 and its social distancing, forty years early. Precognitive lyrics from Steely Dan's 1980 hit.

Hey Nineteen
No, we can't dance together
No, we can't talk at all

by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020

beneficial side effect

Faced with the global COVID-19 pandemic, hostilities between nations seem to have vanished.

We are all in it together, all human and vulnerable to the same degree. If there can be a beneficial side effect to a devastating pandemic, it may be this awareness.

by Monkey's Dad April 7, 2020

SMML

Still Making Me Laugh

Thanks for your note, smml

by Monkey's Dad September 17, 2019

Kardashed expectations

When the worldview of a young woman raised on all 18 TV seasons of Keeping Up With Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall collides with 2020? not to mention? as if that weren't bad enough? their show gets canceled? I mean.

Growing up, she figured her days would like, be all, like, shopping, makeup, hair, like facials and stuff, and not like, unemployment? driving her mom's Kia to TJMaxx while wearing ugly-ass masks? This totally sucked and who was gonna pay for her Kardashed expectations?

by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2020

Mountain out of a Molehole

An inadvertent mis-rendering of the saying "making a mountain out of a molehill" - enlarging an issue beyond its merits or needs - which unintentionally and charmingly accentuates the disparity.

"So what? You lent me your car to go grocery shopping. For whatever, an hour, and I brought it back! It was not three weeks later! Sixteen days is much closer to two weeks. You are so totally making a mountain out of a molehole".

by Monkey's Dad June 13, 2021

Gazpacho Police

Soup Nazis.

According to WWII scholar and Holocaust historian Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Gazpacho Police are now roaming the halls of Congress.

"Nancy Pelosi's Gazpacho Police, spying on members of Congress..." complained Greene. A person of her erudition could not possibly have been confusing cold vegetable soup with the Gestapo, Hitler's secret force, tasked with sending people to the concentration camps.

by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2022