Describing her wrydyllic Hollywood upbringing, with her famously absent, movie-star father, her alcoholic mother's three-day orgies that allowed her no place to hide, her joyous hitch-hiking escape up the coast to Haight-Ashbury at 14, she kept a straight face and slight smile, the better to confound her interviewer.
by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020
"Man, I've been working like a dog", he muttered into the phone, his feet up, eyes on the game, the bag of Doritos on his chest almost empty. There must have been a time, long ago, he imagined, when dogs spent their lives herding cattle from sunrise to sunset, but any actual 21st century dog he knew was lazier than The Dude.
by Monkey's Dad March 01, 2020
A currently-living, proudly primitive person. A surprisingly vivid embodiment of attitudes and aptitudes thought to be long-extinct.
by Monkey's Dad September 18, 2019
A false Fomosexual. Anyone who pretends to suffer from Fear of Missing Out regarding their sex life in order to not cause envy among friends.
Tiffany knew that Heather's complaints about her boyfriend's performance were simply fauxmosexuality. Anyone within a five-apartment radius could hear the truth.
by Monkey's Dad September 25, 2019
"Jack, party of one, your table is ready," Jack said quietly, as he sat down in his kitchen, prepared to enjoy his own company, and his justly famous mac'n'cheese.
by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020
Saturday night in a city under lockdown, another date with her laptop. She brushed her hair and put on makeup, knowing that for the foreseeable future, she would be the only one to take pleasure in her personal disappearance.
by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020
Effectively, the woman any man happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.
"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last woman on earth."
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020