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Monkey's Dad's definitions

Don't Ask

A thought which often escapes idiots staring at a stranger struggling to walk. "What happened to you?" they say, before launching into the saga of their torn knee ligament, oblivious to the possibility that their prey has been disabled for decades and doesn't wish to answer appallingly inappropriate questions, nor needs your brilliant advice.
Don't ask, she thought. Don't fucking ask.
by Monkey's Dad April 16, 2023
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Undustrialized Nation

A country in which manufacturing and the provision of goods and services has come to a halt.
For the moment, America, like many other countries, was an undustrialized nation, most of its commerce shut down in the face of the coronavirus pandemic.
by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020
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#tags? #what tags?

The tags which mysteriously no longer appear under definitions and usage, on Urban Dictionary entries.
He looked at his hundreds of long-standing definitions. "Where are my tags?" he asked. #tags? #what tags? he answered himself. "There were never any tags on Urban Dictionary. You must have been dreaming."
by Monkey's Dad August 2, 2020
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26/11 and 9/2

The ratio of Republicans to Democrats in each house who have tested positive for coronavirus as of 12/17/2020.
26 Republicans vs 11 Democratic House members, 9 Republican vs 2 Democratic Senators have tested positive for coronavirus. Who can guess which party denied the danger of the virus, denied the reality of the pandemic, denied the importance of masks and social distancing? ... 26/11 and 9/2 ... Anyone?
by Monkey's Dad December 18, 2020
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hypoinsomnichondriac

A person who lies awake worrying about all the maladies, disorders and syndromes they may have, present and future.
The messages flooded in at bedtime, from her brother, her cousin - who was a doctor, mind you - studies and statistics forwarded by so many well-intentioned friends, warning of sicknesses which awaited her, if she didn't already have symptoms, which she suddenly realized she probably did have, recommendations for pills, and more pills, changes in diet, which, omg, she vowed to try, promising another sleepless night as a hypoinsomnichondriac.
by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020
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The Four Questions

... as asked by Republican Senator Ted Cruz of prospective Supreme Court justice Amy Coney Barrett, to ascertain her judicial ideology and fitness to sit on the bench.
The four questions Cruz asked:
1) How long have you played the piano?
2) Do the kids do piano lessons as well?
3) You and your husband have seven kids. How did you manage with the distance learning? What was that like in the Barrett household?
4) What advice would you give little girls?
by Monkey's Dad October 14, 2020
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Vernal Equilox

The March 19, 2020 lockdown, falling on the Vernal Equinox - the time when the sun crosses the plane of the earth's equator, making night and day of equal length.
The Vernal Equilox, everyone in lockdown, endless night following endless day, no one outdoors to observe or to celebrate, Netflix flowing seamlessly into Prime Video.
by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020
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