Definitions by Monkey's Dad
Themocracy
A system of government in which a politician's focus is directed toward one's opponents - "Them" - and not to their constituents.
Both parties devoted all of their time, energy and money to bringing each other down. Imagine if they spent it trying to make life better for those they were elected to 'represent'. We would have an actual Democracy, not the Themocracy we now suffer under.
Themocracy by Monkey's Dad November 5, 2020
Standard Time
She awoke on November 1, 2020, eight months into Covid world, four years in the Trumpian alternative universe, and found herself trying to name the daze of the week, wondering how many of them until November 3, 2020, when something or nothing might change, maybe a few months or hours, who could say, and was reminded that she was back on Standard Time. It sounded so nice. She was sure it used to mean something...
Standard Time by Monkey's Dad November 1, 2020
online carbon dating
"Ok", she began, "so he like, asked me out, but I mean, when I like, asked if he was like, into "Cheer" he dropped Ted Danson, Kirstie Alley and, like, Shelley Long and I mean like, whose great-grandparents are they??? So I gotta do some online carbon dating first."
online carbon dating by Monkey's Dad October 26, 2020
Doctor Donothing
Doctor Dolittle's more eccentric office-mate. A person so fully connected to the animals that he finds humans strangely exotic.
"Where's Doctor Donothing?"
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."
Doctor Donothing by Monkey's Dad October 24, 2020
mented
"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. Would you like me to repeat the words in random, alphabetical or reverse order? I'll take the aggregate letters of those words and arrange them into a palindrome, after translating them into Chinese, a language I speak better than Xi Ping Jong by the way. Dementia! I'm more fully mented than any man, woman, camera, tv or person on the planet, twice my age, particularly that deranged loser... the Dementiacratic candidate... his name'll come to me...
mented by Monkey's Dad October 23, 2020
cat's cradle
The delusional gesture of separating the hands, bringing them together again, manipulating yarn, which Donald Trump continually plays while speaking. A game beloved of little girls everywhere.
cat's cradle by Monkey's Dad October 23, 2020
not a scientist
Amy Coney Barrett's self-characterization when asked her views on climate change, which she describes as 'controversial' when it is a settled matter globally among those who are indeed scientists.
"Do you believe that climate change is happening and threatening the air we breathe and the water we drink?" Kamala Harris asked.
"I will not express a view on a matter of public policy... that is politically controversial" Judge Barrett answered. "I am not a scientist."
"I will not express a view on a matter of public policy... that is politically controversial" Judge Barrett answered. "I am not a scientist."
not a scientist by Monkey's Dad October 16, 2020