Definitions by Mike109999
Emotional Season Ticket Holder
Your tier 1 friends who are always there for you, and who emotionally attend every moment of your life, just like season ticket holders attend every game for their cherished sports team.
GS: Gurl, when are you going to announce your new job?
PT: Gotta tell my Emotional Season Ticket Holders first before we briefcase chuckle about moving to the cold. This good news is like a reward for all my Sports PTSD I put them through.
PT: Gotta tell my Emotional Season Ticket Holders first before we briefcase chuckle about moving to the cold. This good news is like a reward for all my Sports PTSD I put them through.
Emotional Season Ticket Holder by Mike109999 September 22, 2025
Pedro on The Mets Era
When someone or something is coming off a Hall of Fame peak, but still pretty good, still better than most, and you could tell Hall of Fame qualities were not far away.
JM: Hey did you see Kim last night, man she is so elite. I needed a White Collar Ginger after I talked to her right before I talked to my wife.
BT: Ya, she is so first ballot, not as good as she was in '22-23, but definitely in her Pedro on The Mets Era.
JM: Ya, her ass is in my Emotional Hard Drive
BT: Ya, she is so first ballot, not as good as she was in '22-23, but definitely in her Pedro on The Mets Era.
JM: Ya, her ass is in my Emotional Hard Drive
Pedro on The Mets Era by Mike109999 September 19, 2025
Emotional Hard Drive
When something or someone is encrypted in your soul. They are a part of you, for better or worse, ON your Emotional Hard Drive.
Damon: Bro, could you stop deleting our group chats, it is really annoying and makes me feel unimportant.
Brett: Group chat messages are temporary, you are on my Emotional Hard Drive.
Damon: Thanks man, still annoying tho.
Brett: Group chat messages are temporary, you are on my Emotional Hard Drive.
Damon: Thanks man, still annoying tho.
Emotional Hard Drive by Mike109999 September 9, 2025
MAGA In The Front, Kamala In The Back
A white, Middle-American mom who attends Trump rallies and publicly identifies with the MAGA crowd, but also covertly cheats on her white husband with Black men.
Tristan: Man, Trent's mom is really pulling for Trump, she must have been around town planting signs all month.
Keith: Ya, it looks like that, but from what I hear, she is more of a MAGA in The Front, Kamala In The Back type mom, is what I have heard from my friends on the football team.
Tristan: Totally makes sense, Trent's dad is always out of town and she DOES cheer pretty hard for the High School football team, even though Trent is 25 now.
Keith: Ya, it looks like that, but from what I hear, she is more of a MAGA in The Front, Kamala In The Back type mom, is what I have heard from my friends on the football team.
Tristan: Totally makes sense, Trent's dad is always out of town and she DOES cheer pretty hard for the High School football team, even though Trent is 25 now.
MAGA In The Front, Kamala In The Back by Mike109999 September 9, 2025
Manscaped 4
The 4 very young, very millenial, very perfectly deliberately facial haired and Manscaped NFL Coaches: Sean McVay, Kliff Kingsbury, Kyle Shanahan, and Matt LaFleur.
Each of them, at ALL times, look like they are the living embodiment of the audience target of a Manscaped ad AND Manscaped models.
Each of them, at ALL times, look like they are the living embodiment of the audience target of a Manscaped ad AND Manscaped models.
Colin: Hey, how come Kyle Shanahan always looks like he is cool about being late to his girlfriend's grandmother's birthday party?
Sophie: He is in the Manscaped 4, they try REALLY hard to look like that. You think it is a mistake Kliff Kingsbury always looks like he is about to buy me a negroni.
Colin: So right, good call. Is that why Sean McVay looks like he is trying to look like he DIDN'T just do 13 pushups to pump himself up for the camera?
Sophie: Exactly. The Manscaped 4 always knows what they are doing.
Sophie: He is in the Manscaped 4, they try REALLY hard to look like that. You think it is a mistake Kliff Kingsbury always looks like he is about to buy me a negroni.
Colin: So right, good call. Is that why Sean McVay looks like he is trying to look like he DIDN'T just do 13 pushups to pump himself up for the camera?
Sophie: Exactly. The Manscaped 4 always knows what they are doing.
Manscaped 4 by Mike109999 September 6, 2025
Wartime Brosef
A friend who excels when their bro is in a really big jam. He is the first brosef his friends call when someone dies, with work issues, advice, and with most traumatic events.
He is like a hockey player who does not take the calm regular season seriously, but is the best player during the playoffs and big games.
He is like a hockey player who does not take the calm regular season seriously, but is the best player during the playoffs and big games.
Vern: FUCK, my business partner is driving me nuts and my wife is pissed I watched the ball game with the guys too. I need to vent to someone NOW.
Brett: Call RJ, he is the BEST Wartime Brosef, White Collar Brosef, and everything in between. I go to him all the time with my big issues. No Briefcase Chuckle needed, you just go right into it. You'll feel like a million bucks after.
Vern: Thanks man, I owe you. Good Wartime Brosefs are rare.
Brett: Call RJ, he is the BEST Wartime Brosef, White Collar Brosef, and everything in between. I go to him all the time with my big issues. No Briefcase Chuckle needed, you just go right into it. You'll feel like a million bucks after.
Vern: Thanks man, I owe you. Good Wartime Brosefs are rare.
Wartime Brosef by Mike109999 August 26, 2025
Brofile
A bro's profile to see if he will fit in with the group of bros. It is an elevator pitch resume, for bros.
Matt: My sister wants us to invite her new bae into the GC.
Foley: Ok, whats his Brofile?
Matt: He only talks sports, shares pictures of sexy plates of wings and other sports aroused moments, and he for sure has not showered in 2 days.
Foley: He sounds amazing, he's in!
Foley: Ok, whats his Brofile?
Matt: He only talks sports, shares pictures of sexy plates of wings and other sports aroused moments, and he for sure has not showered in 2 days.
Foley: He sounds amazing, he's in!
Brofile by Mike109999 August 26, 2025