Middle aged middle white male's definitions

Greasy mud boot

The act of pouring olive oil into a person’s anus and then quickly inserting your foot as far in there as you can.

Karen: “Last night Jon gave me a greasy mud boot. It was amazing”
Jen: “I wish my man would do that”

by Middle aged middle white male November 14, 2020

Talking

A series of intimate conversations between two parties in which it is apparent either with or without verbal confirmation that each has a unique interest in the other.

Girl: Hey did you hear, Tommy Lee and Susan Collins are talking?
Guy: Nah I heard hes just tryna get head

by Middle aged middle white male January 17, 2019

Christmas Cunt

During the winter when a woman begins to "let herself go". She will grow out all body hair especially that of the vaginal area during this period a man will resort to self-pleasure to avoid Carpet Burn.

"I was in the mood but then she came at me with that Christmas Cunt"

by Middle aged middle white male November 8, 2018

Carpet Burn

When a bitch let's her pussy hair grow out and irritates the penis upon entry ; when the pubic hair begins to slightly grow in as stubble and irritates the penis on the way in during sex.

"Damn man I knew I shouldn't have messed with that Christmas cunt, I ended up with Carpet Burn."

by Middle aged middle white male November 8, 2018

Test head

One of the first dicks an underage girl sucks usually a 12th grader named Dave who she met at a party. It will be recorded as one of the smallest that she will encounter in her sexual career.

Yeah Bethe got caught giving test head in Jimmy's parent guest bedroom at the party last Saturday

by Middle aged middle white male November 7, 2018

Road head

Head received on a lengthy car ride to ensure normal blood circulation to lower extremeties. Doctors recommend this once hourly.

Doctor in emergency room : Sir how long has it been since you last received Road Head?
Victim: Two hours

Doctor in emergency room : WE NEED TO PREP A ROOM STAT HE'S NOT LOOKING TO GOOD

by Middle aged middle white male November 7, 2018

Mami

A playful name for this thicccccc Latina bitch you met your freshman and fucked the shit out of

Damn Mami you looking good. DTF?

by Middle aged middle white male November 7, 2018