Mickey Darling's definitions

twoday

an expression used when asking time off from work to cover yourself for two days, not today, because you are going to get so wasted, you'll be straddling the fence.

Worker : hey boss, can i have off twoday?

Boss: do you mean today?

did you spill some dumbass on yourself

Worker: no twoday because i'm gonna get so wasted, i'll need two days to cover me.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

space ghosting

is when you sneak into a couples house and paralyze the woman with pleasure while her boyfriend/husband gets up to take a piss or eat a sandwich and disappear before he returns.

space ghosting is only recommended to the elite of all sexual maneuvers and one must be very comfortable with his master craft of all kama sutra techniques.

Master Splinter : young grasshopper, you have fully mastered all the kama sutra movements are now prepared for the space ghosting challenge, go now and return quickly in the moaning.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

limpdozer

a steroid freak that thinks he's a sexual bulldozing stud and can't get past his own ego to realize he's a limp dick trying to fuck

a top notch bitch.

i heard that douchebag limpdozer Lou Ferrigno couldn't get it up for Liv Tyler and turned green on the set when Ed Norton found out and started laughing.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

Professor Falken

a devious sexual act with an underage girl where you go through various positions of the kama sutra at the command of your computer and try not to cum too fast by looking at her hypnotic braces.

Boxhead 1 : dude, i totally did the Professor Falken with that hottie in high school last nite.

Boxhead 2 : totally???

Boxhead 1 : totally!!!

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

straddling the fence

an expression used to describe the state someone is in mentally before they die or how intoxicated they are.

damn look at grandma, she must be straddling the fence between life and death right now.

yeah she's really old.

we got so messed up last night John was straddling the fence between consciousness and unconsciousness.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

kuma sutra

a discontinued 80's B movie that Roddy Piper was going to star in instead of Hell Comes To Frogtown

i'm sure glad kuma sutra tanked before production because we would have never got to see a masterpiece like Hell Comes To Frogtown.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009

stitching quilts

permanent brain damage that occurs from too much drug abuse and leaves you so fucked up that you appear to be in a perpetual state of stitching quilts.

what's wrong with Bryan?

homie fried his brains so much on that shit that he just sits on the porch stitching quilts with his grandma while she be

straddling the fence.

by Mickey Darling August 3, 2009