6 definitions by Melvin5000

Top Definition
Atlanta Braves outfielder a.k.a. where electricity comes from.
Jason Heyward is a god among boys.
by Melvin5000 July 15, 2010
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a peculiar and very uncomfortable feeling in a man’s testicle(s). The origin of the pain is unknown but it is rumored to come from a clogged sperm duct or possibly blue balls. The only cure currently known is masturbation.
Sorry, I’m such a jerk today, Unexplained Ball Pain.
by Melvin5000 June 01, 2010
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A heightened sense of awareness resulting in aggressive speech pattern often answering ones own questions before a person operating at normal speed has a chance to respond.
I have a hard time talking to Johnny because he's not on coffee speed like me.
by Melvin5000 April 20, 2010
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Confusion due to the ambiguity of text messaging. Often a result of one failing to detect sarcasm via text.
Texter 1 :"what? You said I was a whore?"
Texter 2 : "sorry, text-static. sarcasm much?"
by Melvin5000 April 19, 2010
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phrase describing ones cash flow, also known as "broke as shit."
No, I ain't goin' to the bar. I'm financially challenged as fuck!
by Melvin5000 June 24, 2010
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Mary Winkler was convicted of voluntary manslaughter in the 2006 shooting death of her husband, Matthew Winkler, the preacher at the Fourth Street Church of Christ in the small town of Selmer, Tennessee. She gained national attention due to public speculation about her motives and mental health, allegations of abuse by her husband, her brief flight from the state, and again for the brief length of her jail sentence. At the trial it became known that her husband made her wear stripper shoes and wigs during intercourse. After the trial she gained more national attention when the show “Snapped” aired a telling of her story and also when the Drive-By Truckers penned the song “The Wig He Made Her Wear,” including it on their 2010 album The Big To Do.
2) a euphemism for a crazy girl.
Man, that Kelly is a straight Mary Winkler.
by Melvin5000 July 01, 2010
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