Definitions by Max Nova
Hot Lava
Some rumbling and stomach pain leads to extremely explosive diarrhea that burns as it exits the rectum and comes out so forcefully that it splashes off the toilet water and back onto your ass.
Pissing Out Of Your Ass (POOYA)
When you have such explosive diarrhea that is in a completely liquid form (without the lumps) and feels as if you are pissing out of your ass. There is such a strong steady stream that a passerby who hears you could easily mistaken you for taking an actual piss.
I don't know what was in that meal, but I'm sure you'll be pissing out of your ass (POOYA) for hours.
Pissing Out Of Your Ass (POOYA) by max nova July 3, 2009
Reverse Bidet
When you've had such a terrible bout with some extremely explosive diarrhea. The kind in which no toilet paper or wet wipes could do you an ounce of help.
1. You head to the shower and turn the faucet on. Prop yourself underneath with your legs up on the wall and let the forceful water from the faucet completely douse your ass crack and nether regions for a complete cleansing.
2. You turn your back to the sink, turn the faucet on and continually splash the water on your ass crack and nether regions completely cleansing any shrapnel or remnants of the disaster.
(Hand soap can be used in either scenario for extra cleansing)
1. You head to the shower and turn the faucet on. Prop yourself underneath with your legs up on the wall and let the forceful water from the faucet completely douse your ass crack and nether regions for a complete cleansing.
2. You turn your back to the sink, turn the faucet on and continually splash the water on your ass crack and nether regions completely cleansing any shrapnel or remnants of the disaster.
(Hand soap can be used in either scenario for extra cleansing)
After returning home from a Wing Fest, I had such an awful case of explosive diarrhea that a roll of tissue paper was not going to suffice, my only saving grace was to partake in a reverse bidet and douche my nether regions.
Reverse Bidet by max nova July 3, 2009
Buckingham Clench
When you feel as if you are about to break wind and just as you begin to attempt to pass it, you feel a sudden moist feeling on the edge of your butt cheeks. At this point you come to realize this may not be what you first thought it was and not wanting to turn the back of your legs into a chocolate waterfall, You snap at attention. Immediately clenching your buttcheeks tightly together to avoid any spillage and keeping a firm rigid stance, like a Buckingham Guard. With a cold sweat beginning to form and the feeling of a sharp stabbing sensation in your lower abdomen, you must continue to stay in this position until the pain subsides and you can get to a toilet.
1. As I started to pass gas, I felt a moist sensation and immediately snapped into a Buckingham Clench.
2. As I snapped into a Buckingham Clench, it was quite obvious that this was no laughing matter and despite onlookers gawking and poking and prodding at me, I knew I could not unclench or I would soil myself.
3. Not wanting to crap my pants, I immediately bore the Buckingham Clench in an attempt to hold it all in.
2. As I snapped into a Buckingham Clench, it was quite obvious that this was no laughing matter and despite onlookers gawking and poking and prodding at me, I knew I could not unclench or I would soil myself.
3. Not wanting to crap my pants, I immediately bore the Buckingham Clench in an attempt to hold it all in.
Buckingham Clench by max nova July 3, 2009