Marcus Solomon 's definitions

Emo guys

Easily-led trend followers that have adopted the cookie-cutter emo clone uniform that consists of ridiculously tight pants (often girl's pants), way-too-tight T-shirts (often girl's shirts), Van's or Converse high-top shoes, and any one of the multiple variations of the angular, backward mullet (see:emotenuse). Musically, emo guys listen to the sadly-growing legions of homogenized whiny pop bands and/or the growing-number of misguided metalic/punkish sounding groups that pretend to express anger and melancholy emotions that they have never truly experienced. Emo guys are often seen kissing each other as peer-encouraged homosexuality and acting stereotypically feminine is an important part of emo guys' image, and often is the result of having their testicles squeezed in tight pants for so long that testosterone production is impossible.

We saw a bunch of emo guys kissing because they wanted everyone to see how sensitive and emotional they are, but we all just laughed at how much influence a silly trend can have on human behavior.

by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007

emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.

Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"

by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007

Dorito Damage

To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.

Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.

by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008

emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.

I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.

by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008

Dorrito damage

To wound one's mouth with the sharp and pointy parts of a Dorrito's chip or any other mouth-shredding brand of snack food.

OW! I just did some Dorrito damage to the roof of my mouth when the point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza burn blister I got last night!

by Marcus Solomon April 17, 2008

Emo Punk

An absolute oxymoron as "emo" is a false music genre created from drab bits of other music subcultures into a completely unoriginal music/fashion statement, whose adherents pride themselves on contrived self-loathing, exaggerated negative emotion in general, and looking like other emos, while "punk" is a distinct musical subculture that is an angry and creative rejection of "normal" society and "fad culture" in general. Emo fools also disregard the fact that all music is emotional, and instead delude themselves into believeing that only negative emotions are important.

Many emos attempt to make a direct connection between punk rock and the flacid emo trend. While "emotional hardcore" punk rock did exist in the early 1980s, the word "emotional" is a term that refered to the entire emotional spectrum and has nothing to do with today's unoriginal, cookie-cutter, fashion/musical trend.

Saying someone is an emo punk is like saying an animal is a monkey-fish.

That guy thinks he is an emo punk, but he is just a self-deluded trend-follower with an emotenuce haircut, little-girl's pants, and an Exploited T-shirt.

by Marcus Solomon November 13, 2007

emo bitch

1. A redundant term, being that "emo" and "bitch" mean exactly the same thing in this context. To be an emo bitch is simply to be like all other emo clones: contrived negative emotion, false sense of personal insight, strict adherence to emo fashion with all its bland unoriginality, and incredibly poor taste in shallow, melancholy pop music. All involved with the emo trend are emo bitches.

2. Any tantrum or self-pitying rant from an emo clone.

1. Sullen Sally and her boyfriend Morose Marvin are emo bitches.

2. That emo bitch got all worked-up and is now in the midst of an emo bitch rant; go get some tissues and bandages.

by Marcus Solomon December 2, 2007