Salty Uncle refers to a truly adorable man, who can be as soft and loving as a teddy bear marshmallow or as driven and focused as bad ass navy seal with a score to settle. They can sometimes be referred to Salty Pork Hand too, which is strange as they are more commonly associated with being addicted to Salted Fish and Fresh Mango, post massage. As loyal as an Akita, they will never let you down and have been known to excel at jobs such as Quality Assurance & Regulatory Management, Trade Show Management, Spontaneous Spy missions to India and Guidance Councillor.
"Hey, check out Salty Uncle over there.. look at him go! Looks like he's on a mission to return 12 umbrellas to hotel to avoid a fine"
"Old Salty Pork Hands, he's a top bloke! I heard he flew into India solo in the middle of a terrorist bombing just to return an umbrella"
"Have you meet the guy from the quantity team yet?" ... "You mean Salty Uncle? Yeah I met him last week, guys a legend"
"Old Salty Pork Hands, he's a top bloke! I heard he flew into India solo in the middle of a terrorist bombing just to return an umbrella"
"Have you meet the guy from the quantity team yet?" ... "You mean Salty Uncle? Yeah I met him last week, guys a legend"
by Mangoes Since 2025 June 04, 2025
The human experience rarely finds itself in moments of true & pure Bliss. Moments that are so serendipitous and meaningful that all conscious thought, regard for perception or personal safety, are cast aside, in order to allow a shower of ecstatic and joyful energy to burst threw one's brain. Caused by eating delicious food and reacting, scientists studying this phenomenon have determined that it can only be replicated if a willing participant consumes frozen food to induce brain freeze at the exact moment of sexual orgasm, whilst simultaneously have both ear canals stimulated with cotton tips. Often seen during the sampling of new food groups or during food eating hypnosis, it is commonly known to produce visions that have been described as versions of the Northern Lights. At times, people in the middle of a Wonderland Mouth will shout out loud, aggressively describing the Northern Lights, at the same time as convulsing on the floor, in a semi break dance, urinating and orgasming at once. Officials at the Vatican have recently been called to various locations around the world in order to perform exorcisms on people, only to determine they were not possessed, but merely having a prolonged Wonderland Mouth experience. Like during an epileptic fit, onlookers should not stop the Wonderland Mouth from taking place, instead create space around the person, moving dangerous items from the vicinity, to allow the episode to run its course until it finishes.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Did you guys see that? Phil just tried this new Smoothie and had a freeken mental Wonderland Mouth"
"Dave it's Brian here, can you come down to level two as quick as possible, and bring the mop and slippery when wet signs. Some guys just had a super messy Wonderland Mouth event in front of the sports store entrance"
"It's true, he drank the drink, his eyes rolled back in his head, he started talking in tongues and had THE LOUDEST Wonderland Mouth I've even seen"
"Dave it's Brian here, can you come down to level two as quick as possible, and bring the mop and slippery when wet signs. Some guys just had a super messy Wonderland Mouth event in front of the sports store entrance"
"It's true, he drank the drink, his eyes rolled back in his head, he started talking in tongues and had THE LOUDEST Wonderland Mouth I've even seen"
by Mangoes Since 2025 June 04, 2025