"Thank you for sending in that insurance check. I got so busy I totally forgot."
"I didn't send it."
"Oh. Well, un-thank you. You're the worst."
"I didn't send it."
"Oh. Well, un-thank you. You're the worst."
by Little Walnut October 02, 2017
What you feel when you watch a documentary about climate change and remember all the crap you just ordered online.
"Wow, this episode of Patriot Act is really disturbing. I had no idea fast fashion was creating so much waste. Hey, are you okay? You look like you're going to throw up."
"Yeah... just thinking about the 10 shirts I don't need that'll be arriving on my doorstep tomorrow and having some serious retail guilt. I'm an asshole."
"Yeah... just thinking about the 10 shirts I don't need that'll be arriving on my doorstep tomorrow and having some serious retail guilt. I'm an asshole."
by Little Walnut December 03, 2019
"Have you always been such a womanizer?"
"Oh, no. You should have seen me in high school. I never even kissed a girl. And then, one day, everything changed..."
"Interesting. I'd love to hear your whorigin story."
"Oh, no. You should have seen me in high school. I never even kissed a girl. And then, one day, everything changed..."
"Interesting. I'd love to hear your whorigin story."
by Little Walnut August 25, 2018
The mysterious phenomenon that occurs only when walking a dog at night, involving poo traveling sometimes several inches, sometimes several feet from where you just saw the dog poop. This phenomenon necessitates a flashlight and a thorough search of the ground before discovering the new location of the poo.
"Good dog, Buddy. Yep. Poop it out. That's right. Okay, just gotta pick this poop up and then we can . . . where did it go? Damn you, telepootation!"
by Little Walnut August 25, 2018
"So Mark and I were doing anal last night and––"
"Wait. You're into anal?"
"Yeah! I decided to give it another try!"
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Me four!"
"Whoa. It's in the analgeist."
"Wait. You're into anal?"
"Yeah! I decided to give it another try!"
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Me four!"
"Whoa. It's in the analgeist."
by Little Walnut January 10, 2017
An alternative to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner centered around a humongous, oven-hogging bird, in which you and your guests make the meal about the sides instead of the turkey. Because if turkey is so great why don't we eat it all year? More mashed potatoes, please!
"What unspeakable hour are you going to get up at on your day off to put that 20 lb. turkey into the oven?"
"Maybe, like, 10 a.m."
"Whaaaaat?! It'll never be ready for dinner at 3!"
"Yeah, that's okay, because we're not having turkey this year. We're doing Sidesgiving. Sucker."
"Maybe, like, 10 a.m."
"Whaaaaat?! It'll never be ready for dinner at 3!"
"Yeah, that's okay, because we're not having turkey this year. We're doing Sidesgiving. Sucker."
by Little Walnut November 13, 2018
When you do someone a favor and they insist on thanking you by taking you to lunch and completely disrupting your day.
"Thank you so much for lending me your pen."
"It was nothing, really."
"Let me take you to lunch to thank you properly."
"Seriously, it's not necessary."
"When is it convenient for you?"
"Never."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you can make time."
"No means no! You're trying to force lunch me!"
"It was nothing, really."
"Let me take you to lunch to thank you properly."
"Seriously, it's not necessary."
"When is it convenient for you?"
"Never."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you can make time."
"No means no! You're trying to force lunch me!"
by Little Walnut November 15, 2013