"Thank you for sending in that insurance check. I got so busy I totally forgot."
"I didn't send it."
"Oh. Well, un-thank you. You're the worst."
"I didn't send it."
"Oh. Well, un-thank you. You're the worst."
by Little Walnut October 02, 2017
"Have you always been such a womanizer?"
"Oh, no. You should have seen me in high school. I never even kissed a girl. And then, one day, everything changed..."
"Interesting. I'd love to hear your whorigin story."
"Oh, no. You should have seen me in high school. I never even kissed a girl. And then, one day, everything changed..."
"Interesting. I'd love to hear your whorigin story."
by Little Walnut August 25, 2018
"So Mark and I were doing anal last night and––"
"Wait. You're into anal?"
"Yeah! I decided to give it another try!"
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Me four!"
"Whoa. It's in the analgeist."
"Wait. You're into anal?"
"Yeah! I decided to give it another try!"
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Me four!"
"Whoa. It's in the analgeist."
by Little Walnut January 09, 2017
The extremely brief window of time––sometimes as short as ten minutes––when a banana is at its perfect level of ripeness.
by Little Walnut March 04, 2017
Someone you rarely hang out with: "Hey, want to have a zoom call tonight?"
You: "Sorry! I can't."
Someone you rarely hang out with: "Why not? It's not like you can go out."
You: "I know, but I'm practicing virtual social distancing."
You: "Sorry! I can't."
Someone you rarely hang out with: "Why not? It's not like you can go out."
You: "I know, but I'm practicing virtual social distancing."
by Little Walnut March 31, 2020
When you feel too depressed to perform basic life functions, and the only explanation is that Donald Trump is your president.
"I just watched twelve videos of baby goats in sweaters to cheer myself up."
"What's the matter?"
"Oh, nothing. Just down in the Trumps."
"Yeah... can you send me those videos?"
"What's the matter?"
"Oh, nothing. Just down in the Trumps."
"Yeah... can you send me those videos?"
by Little Walnut November 21, 2016
When you do someone a favor and they insist on thanking you by taking you to lunch and completely disrupting your day.
"Thank you so much for lending me your pen."
"It was nothing, really."
"Let me take you to lunch to thank you properly."
"Seriously, it's not necessary."
"When is it convenient for you?"
"Never."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you can make time."
"No means no! You're trying to force lunch me!"
"It was nothing, really."
"Let me take you to lunch to thank you properly."
"Seriously, it's not necessary."
"When is it convenient for you?"
"Never."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you can make time."
"No means no! You're trying to force lunch me!"
by Little Walnut November 15, 2013