Someone you rarely hang out with: "Hey, want to have a zoom call tonight?"
You: "Sorry! I can't."
Someone you rarely hang out with: "Why not? It's not like you can go out."
You: "I know, but I'm practicing virtual social distancing."
You: "Sorry! I can't."
Someone you rarely hang out with: "Why not? It's not like you can go out."
You: "I know, but I'm practicing virtual social distancing."
by Little Walnut March 31, 2020
"Have you always been such a womanizer?"
"Oh, no. You should have seen me in high school. I never even kissed a girl. And then, one day, everything changed..."
"Interesting. I'd love to hear your whorigin story."
"Oh, no. You should have seen me in high school. I never even kissed a girl. And then, one day, everything changed..."
"Interesting. I'd love to hear your whorigin story."
by Little Walnut August 25, 2018
When you do someone a favor and they insist on thanking you by taking you to lunch and completely disrupting your day.
"Thank you so much for lending me your pen."
"It was nothing, really."
"Let me take you to lunch to thank you properly."
"Seriously, it's not necessary."
"When is it convenient for you?"
"Never."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you can make time."
"No means no! You're trying to force lunch me!"
"It was nothing, really."
"Let me take you to lunch to thank you properly."
"Seriously, it's not necessary."
"When is it convenient for you?"
"Never."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you can make time."
"No means no! You're trying to force lunch me!"
by Little Walnut November 15, 2013
"Hey, how you doing?"
"Not great. I've had three colds this month, I'm broke, I'm not getting laid, I've gained thirty pounds, and the whole world is falling apart."
"Yeah... shit's hard, man."
"Not great. I've had three colds this month, I'm broke, I'm not getting laid, I've gained thirty pounds, and the whole world is falling apart."
"Yeah... shit's hard, man."
by Little Walnut October 03, 2017
The state of being of a woman who conforms to the laws and rules of society with the mistaken assumption she's playing by the same set of rules as men.
Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton both seemed like legitimate choices for presidential candidates, but it turns out they were only letitimate.
by Little Walnut November 21, 2024
An alternative to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner centered around a humongous, oven-hogging bird, in which you and your guests make the meal about the sides instead of the turkey. Because if turkey is so great why don't we eat it all year? More mashed potatoes, please!
"What unspeakable hour are you going to get up at on your day off to put that 20 lb. turkey into the oven?"
"Maybe, like, 10 a.m."
"Whaaaaat?! It'll never be ready for dinner at 3!"
"Yeah, that's okay, because we're not having turkey this year. We're doing Sidesgiving. Sucker."
"Maybe, like, 10 a.m."
"Whaaaaat?! It'll never be ready for dinner at 3!"
"Yeah, that's okay, because we're not having turkey this year. We're doing Sidesgiving. Sucker."
by Little Walnut November 13, 2018
When you feel too depressed to perform basic life functions, and the only explanation is that Donald Trump is your president.
"I just watched twelve videos of baby goats in sweaters to cheer myself up."
"What's the matter?"
"Oh, nothing. Just down in the Trumps."
"Yeah... can you send me those videos?"
"What's the matter?"
"Oh, nothing. Just down in the Trumps."
"Yeah... can you send me those videos?"
by Little Walnut November 21, 2016