4 definitions by Leighton Xander

(masculine - pronounced crum-een-us)
A phenomenon that occurs during the consumption of crumbly biscuits while naked. Due to the collective nature of pubic hair, the biscuit crumbs will naturally conglomerate around the pubic region hence - crumenus. This is a masculine term only. For feminine, see Vagumbs.

Recently, a non-gender specific derivative has become popular - Crumubes (crum-yoobs), as in “I have crumbs in my pubes - crumubes”.

A similar experience can occur when lying naked on your stomach while another party is eating crumbly biscuits above you. This can cause Crumanus.
“Hey girl, check out all my crumenus. Why don’t you chow down on one of these biscuits and then you could have some vagumbs.”

“Sweetheart, I hate it when you sit on me and eat crumbly biscuits, it gives me really bad crumanus.
by Leighton Xander May 16, 2014
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Sping is a portmanteau of the words Spunk and String (or Sperm and String) thus Spunk String becomes Sping. However, this can be misleading because Sping almost always consists of Dog Water.

Sping is described as a length of ejaculate (or pre ejaculate) that extends from the tip of one's penis to a foreign body, often an item of clothing (i.e. underwear). The presence of sping during a sexual encounter is often considered bad form and can lead to abandonment of the other party and, for the perpetrator, an uncomfortable case of Blue Balls.
I was about to have sex with Jack the other day but, when he took his clothes off there was a length of Sping attached to his boxers, I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Yo dude, I managed to get 1.6 meters of Sping going yesterday, that is definitely a record. I am the Sping King!
by Leighton Xander February 15, 2016
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Sping is a portmanteau of the words Spunk and String (or Sperm and String) thus Spunk String becomes Sping. However, this can be misleading because Sping almost always consists of Dog Water.

Sping is described as a length of ejaculate (or pre ejaculate) that extends from the tip of one's penis to a foreign body, often an item of clothing (i.e. underwear). The presence of sping during a sexual encounter is often considered bad form and can lead to abandonment of the other party and, for the perpetrator, an uncomfortable case of Blue Balls.
I was about to have sex with James but when we got undressed I saw the longest Sping I have ever seen! Nasty.

Hey Marcus, I measured a Sping at 2 meters the other day, that makes me the new Sping King!
by Leighton Xander February 12, 2016
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When one uses a sock for masturbatory purposes.
Dude, my misses wouldn't put out last night and I couldn't find any toilet paper so I used a cotton condom.
by Leighton Xander November 26, 2014
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