gaining support by appealing to people's love of a sob story. This could include running for public office after a recent personal or family tragedy, or turning up to an X-Factor audition in a wheelchair, hoping that doing so will gloss over any discernible lack of talent.
Dave: "Here Bob, this man on the X-Factor lost all his family in a plane crash and had is legs amputated after a tragic gardening accident."
Bob: "He may be crap, but he will win on the sympathy vote."
The small paragraph, which few people read, at the top of page 3 in a British tabloid newspaper. This page traditionally contains a full page picture of a topless model, who may be completely nude, though not showing her genitals, only tits and arses are allowed.
The paragraph is purportedly a quote from the model pictured, in which she gives her views on all manner of current subjects, such as how to solve the Israel/Palestine conflict, or the credit crunch.
Bob: "Dave, have you read this page 3 text? Nikkala from Braintree says there should be a two-state solution to solve the Palestinian crisis, and that there should be government action to bring down the interbank lending rate to ease the credit crunch."
Dave: "You expect me to believe an Essex bird who flashes her tits for a living said that? Bollocks!"
Cockney rhyming slang - the army.
Prince Philip :"Liz, why has Prince Harry got a funny titfer?"
Trouble and strife :"Oh Philip, don't you ever read the Currant Bun? He's joined the daft and barmy!"
Footwear which defies the laws of physics, by creating their own localised gravity field, thus preventing the astronaut, who is walking around another heavenly body such as the Moon, from floating away into space.
nephew: "There is no gravity on the Moon."
uncle: "If there was no gravity on the Moon, how did Neil Armstrong walk on it? Without gravity, he would have floated off into space!"
nephew: "Easy, he was wearing space boots."
Moobs, or manboobs. The excessively sized ladylike chest elevations on a man. So named after the golfer Colin Montgomery, who has moobs. Sometimes abbreviated to monties.
Dave: "Bob, when are you going to do something about your moobs?"
Bob: "I know Dave, I am thinking of going under the knife to have my Montgomeries sorted."