Larry and Rex and Benny's definitions

medium adult

This term is obviously used after a 2-5 day bender when you know you are being irresponsible. It’s great with friends bc it’s funny but you know you’re in shit creek with your job.

Hey Jenny, you have to cover for me with the tiny tots on the monkey bars and the little ones on the roller coaster. I blew Steve til 8 am and feel like a medium adult today. Cover for me...please cover for me...

by Larry and Rex and Benny July 16, 2018

The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992

This was a terrifying, potentially catastrophic, event that happened in the summer of 1992. This is when two people break into a hotel room to fuck and destroy everything in the room as a drunk accident including pouring whiskey all over the guys dick and sucking him off. Raunchy shit. During the sex the headboard falls off and panic ensues. The girl almost suffocates and suffers a bloody nose. Both parties panic. Then the actual owners of the room key in and the other party flees while the new couple is forced to clean up blood whiskey and semen. It’s awful.

Bro, shit was a disaster last night. We broke into a hotel room last night and turned that place into a crime scene. It reminded me of The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992. No shit, the owners opened the door as we cleaned up the blood and we had to run out of there naked. It was ugly.

by Larry and Rex and Benny October 15, 2018

The Cuban Missile Crisis

This is a very specific situation when you are in a meeting at work with just one too many cups of coffee. You need to get out of there but don’t know what to do.

Jimbo, my man, they called a meeting just after my second pot of coffee. It was a brutal two hours. I was sweating the whole time and a little even came out on the drawers. You’ve been there. It was the classic case of The Cuban Missile Crisis! Fuck

by Larry and Rex and Benny September 26, 2018

The 36 Inch Push Broom

When you lift a 3 ft midget by the ankles upside down, face fucking her, while walking around Quicken Loans Arena.

Hey Barry, see that midget across the parking lot? I’m gonna chug these beers and then give her The 36 inch push broom before the game starts.

by Larry and Rex and Benny June 24, 2018

Motherfucked The Boss

This is when you hate your life because you hate your job. Typically this is a result of hating your boss and you often find that you rant and rave about how he should be dead or in jail. So what do you do? You secretly invite his mother to the office on Mother’s Day and sneak into his office and have the dirtiest sex imaginable. Fingers in the ass...everything. But then the job isn’t done. Once you send her on her way you shit in his pencil drawer at his desk. Big steamer.

Time to wrap up. Quietly tiptoe out of there and punch that time clock. You’ve accomplished all you’re getting done today.

“Hi, Deanna?” It’s Jim from the front desk. Listen your son can’t talk right now, he’s in a meeting. But Happy Mothers Day! Why don’t you come to the office.”

...then you proceed to step on her face while you bend her over the desk...

“That was amazing, why don’t you go clean up. I’ll be right there.”

Steer clear of the office for a little while boys. I just did us all a solid and Motherfucked The Boss . You mind punching me out? I need a cigarette.

by Larry and Rex and Benny February 4, 2020