Larry and Rex and Benny's definitions

The Guantanamo unholy Sneak Attack

This is when a terrorist prisoner Is stewing around in his cell with nothing better to do. He’s feeling bored so he goes and chats with his other loser terrorist buddies obviously plotting something.

Then later he goes into his neighbors cell and begins ass fucking him and as he’s about to cum he pulls out and seemlessly shoves a stick of dynamite in his ass blowing him to smithereens.

The other terrorists golf clap.

“Yo Mustafo. This prison shit sucks. I’m gonna give the new guy the Guantanamo unholy sneak attack after lunch. Get some entertainment going around here.”

“That’s gonna be messy, but it sure beats movie night. I can’t watch Shawshank again.”

by Larry and Rex and Benny January 30, 2020

The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992

This was a terrifying, potentially catastrophic, event that happened in the summer of 1992. This is when two people break into a hotel room to fuck and destroy everything in the room as a drunk accident including pouring whiskey all over the guys dick and sucking him off. Raunchy shit. During the sex the headboard falls off and panic ensues. The girl almost suffocates and suffers a bloody nose. Both parties panic. Then the actual owners of the room key in and the other party flees while the new couple is forced to clean up blood whiskey and semen. It’s awful.

Bro, shit was a disaster last night. We broke into a hotel room last night and turned that place into a crime scene. It reminded me of The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992. No shit, the owners opened the door as we cleaned up the blood and we had to run out of there naked. It was ugly.

by Larry and Rex and Benny October 15, 2018

The Cuban Missile Crisis

This is a very specific situation when you are in a meeting at work with just one too many cups of coffee. You need to get out of there but don’t know what to do.

Jimbo, my man, they called a meeting just after my second pot of coffee. It was a brutal two hours. I was sweating the whole time and a little even came out on the drawers. You’ve been there. It was the classic case of The Cuban Missile Crisis! Fuck

by Larry and Rex and Benny September 26, 2018

Pepper the Workzone

This is when you get home from work in the mid afternoon and you find your girlfriend is asleep. But it’s a trick, she is not asleep and actually wants anal but you’re gonna do it her way.

She grabs the icy hot and rims her entire ass then you know the drill so you hit your dick and balls too. While the spice is kicking in the key is to dip your balls in and out of her ass to get things going and now it’s time to start the fire. You slam it in and out of her ass until the windows fog up from the icy turning to hot and your Workzone is on fucking fire. You know if you’ve done your job when she tells you she hasn’t shit right in weeks.

“Hey Jenny, I know I’ve settled down with Jimmy but I’m still a total fucking whore at heart. Every girl needs a little anal. Remember the time you let Matt put it in your ass in a basement after getting smashed on dollar beer night? I’m still jealous so I’m gonna Pepper the Workzone With Jimmy tonight.”

“Last time you did that you shit blood for 3 days!”

by Larry and Rex and Benny February 16, 2020

The French Dipper

This is when, while eating a roast beef sandwich, you dip your balls in the au jus sauce and slowly stick them in and out of the girls mouth while she licks off the sauce.

Hey Pete! I took a girl to Subway in a first date the other night. She followed me to the bathroom because she wanted The French Dipper. Then she finished me by sucking me off on the toilet! Second time this week!

by Larry and Rex and Benny September 19, 2018

the double blackout

The double blackout is when you go day drinking, and blackout for the first time before noon. You won’t know what happened but when you wake up there could be a stranger in your bed and you could be naked. That’s when you start to piece your day together and wonder what happened with the stranger. However, it’s only 4pm and your friends want to meet up. That’s when you rally. The probably ends with shots of tequila and throwing up in an alley outside some kind of shit smelling Indian restaurant. But you don’t know bc you just did the double blackout. The next morning is a rough one.

Hey Carey! I don’t remember shit. I feel like a dirty whore bc I woke up after my first blackout and couldn’t remember if I fucked this guy named Steve. He seemed cool though so we rallied. We were up until 6 am when I blacked out again, but the last thing I remember is sucking his dick in the last bar we were in. It was another of the double blackout for me...

by Larry and Rex and Benny July 15, 2018

Greyhound Racer

This is simple. You chug a greyhound. It’s vodka and grapefruit juice. You have to use two straws and and Grey Goose vodka. It fucks you up.

Yo Sammy! This bartender made me do 4 Greyhound Racers last night! That shit hits you fast. I totally blacked out and fell asleep mid blowjob because of that asshole. It was awesome!

by Larry and Rex and Benny July 29, 2018