Larry and Rex and Benny's definitions

The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992

This was a terrifying, potentially catastrophic, event that happened in the summer of 1992. This is when two people break into a hotel room to fuck and destroy everything in the room as a drunk accident including pouring whiskey all over the guys dick and sucking him off. Raunchy shit. During the sex the headboard falls off and panic ensues. The girl almost suffocates and suffers a bloody nose. Both parties panic. Then the actual owners of the room key in and the other party flees while the new couple is forced to clean up blood whiskey and semen. It’s awful.

Bro, shit was a disaster last night. We broke into a hotel room last night and turned that place into a crime scene. It reminded me of The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992. No shit, the owners opened the door as we cleaned up the blood and we had to run out of there naked. It was ugly.

by Larry and Rex and Benny October 15, 2018

The Cuban Missile Crisis

This is a very specific situation when you are in a meeting at work with just one too many cups of coffee. You need to get out of there but don’t know what to do.

Jimbo, my man, they called a meeting just after my second pot of coffee. It was a brutal two hours. I was sweating the whole time and a little even came out on the drawers. You’ve been there. It was the classic case of The Cuban Missile Crisis! Fuck

by Larry and Rex and Benny September 26, 2018

Greyhound Racer

This is simple. You chug a greyhound. It’s vodka and grapefruit juice. You have to use two straws and and Grey Goose vodka. It fucks you up.

Yo Sammy! This bartender made me do 4 Greyhound Racers last night! That shit hits you fast. I totally blacked out and fell asleep mid blowjob because of that asshole. It was awesome!

by Larry and Rex and Benny July 29, 2018

The Iraqi Stink Bomb

This is when you are nailing a girl from behind, preferably a stranger. Then, you make a noise and quietly apologize for farting during sex when really you have taken three to four stink bombs and crushed them on the floor. You then don a gas mask and continue fucking her from behind until you finish while she endures the smell.

Yo Jake! Remember that bitch at the bar who was taking a piss in the men’s room sink? She seemed like common street trash so I got smashed enough to bang her and threw in The Iraqi Stink Bomb so I could video it, steal her phone send to all her friends when she was cleaning off the stench in my bathroom.

by Larry and Rex and Benny November 20, 2019

Truffle Pig

Similar to the hogs used to sniff out truffles in Europe, a Truffle Pig is a stank ass bitch golddigging and sniffing, potentially, licking the ass of a rich person.

Yo Benny, I’m filthy rich, it’s great. This stupid bitch Sarah is such a Truffle Pig. She licked my ass and everything, all she wanted was a fancy purse. What a whore!

by Larry and Rex and Benny July 15, 2018

The Fuck Bomb

This is when you knowingly walk in one two people fucking, then jump into the bed with them naked too and photo bomb the event!

Yo Diego! Remember that time I gave you the Fuck Bomb when you were nailing Emily from behind. Sorry I saw her naked but she was pretty hot. I’m glad I still have the pictures and your dick only touched me through the sheets when we took those photos!

by Larry and Rex and Benny August 4, 2018

Motherfucked The Boss

This is when you hate your life because you hate your job. Typically this is a result of hating your boss and you often find that you rant and rave about how he should be dead or in jail. So what do you do? You secretly invite his mother to the office on Mother’s Day and sneak into his office and have the dirtiest sex imaginable. Fingers in the ass...everything. But then the job isn’t done. Once you send her on her way you shit in his pencil drawer at his desk. Big steamer.

Time to wrap up. Quietly tiptoe out of there and punch that time clock. You’ve accomplished all you’re getting done today.

“Hi, Deanna?” It’s Jim from the front desk. Listen your son can’t talk right now, he’s in a meeting. But Happy Mothers Day! Why don’t you come to the office.”

...then you proceed to step on her face while you bend her over the desk...

“That was amazing, why don’t you go clean up. I’ll be right there.”

Steer clear of the office for a little while boys. I just did us all a solid and Motherfucked The Boss . You mind punching me out? I need a cigarette.

by Larry and Rex and Benny February 4, 2020