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L.MARTIN's definitions

BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
mugGet the BIRTH CONTROLmug.

CADDY

A 30something to 50something man of modest to respectable accomplishment who lands an attractive but no longer hot
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."
CHICK:"Alberto!...how nice to see you!(hug)Hope everything is
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
mugGet the CADDYmug.

S.A.D.

SEX AFFORDABILITY DYNAMIC....One more reason why it's better to be rich.As a straight man...once you get over the age of 25...if you're not rich or famous...generally speaking the quality of pussy you're able to fuck levels off.In fact it quite probably nosedives.The "young n'dumb n'drunk" MIGHT do you...But the "young n'sober/ambitious n'hot" will probably pass.This would explain why Average Joe in his mid-to late 20's claims to really dig older women.That's all that'll do your mediocre ass.
GYM MANAGER:"Unbelievable!This guy who just joined is uglier than the bottom of my shoe...but he walked in with this total babe."

FEEX GUY:"Must be the Bentley GT they pulled up in.Tsk
tsk...it's S.A.D."
by L.MARTIN November 5, 2005
mugGet the S.A.D.mug.

FUCK YOU NUMBER

The financial number at which you can opt not to work.It's different for everyone...but generally speaking...if you buy into the "American Way of Life"...that number is somewhere around 5million liquid.At that point-you have a barrier against "the unforseen"(illness/injury)...or the fully known. (divorce/criminal children)Hefty appettite for booze,sex,and gambling?Triple that number.
Between his ex-wives,children,and jet set travel-James the attorney has a higher FUCK YOU NUMBER than Joe the plumbing contractor.
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
mugGet the FUCK YOU NUMBERmug.

McTACOHUT

The increasing number of fast food entities that share the same space...i.e. PIZZA HUT/TACO BELL...KFC/A&W...ETC.
ROAD WARRIOR:"Hey...let's pull off the freeway n' get some
quick grub at the McTACOHUT comin' up.

SIDE KICK: "Yep."
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
mugGet the McTACOHUTmug.

GROUPIE GENE

The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"

HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"

WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."

HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"

WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
mugGet the GROUPIE GENEmug.

PICK SIX

SPORTS FAN 1:"Did you see Ed Reeds' PICK SIX off Tom Brady last week?"

Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
mugGet the PICK SIXmug.

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