L.MARTIN's definitions

GROUPIE GENE

The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.

WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"

HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"

WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."

HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"

WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."

by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005

McTACOHUT

The increasing number of fast food entities that share the same space...i.e. PIZZA HUT/TACO BELL...KFC/A&W...ETC.

ROAD WARRIOR:"Hey...let's pull off the freeway n' get some
quick grub at the McTACOHUT comin' up.

SIDE KICK: "Yep."

by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005

LAPDOG

A 20something man who lands a hot female his age or slightly older.(no more than 5 years)He's muscular,pretty,and fucks the daylights outta her.Too bad he's broke.She's out whoring around with "WEALTHY MEN WHO CAN..."but has LAPDOG for emotional comfort and workouts at the gym.He don't really wanna know what the deal is 'bout that nice condo and the Porsche Boxster.All relationships are temporary...and this one's no different:She'll either
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.

GYM RAT 1:"Wassup wit'Dylan and that chick he trains with?
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."

GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."

by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005

PICK SIX

AMERICAN FOOTBALL: An interception returned for a touchdown.

SPORTS FAN 1:"Did you see Ed Reeds' PICK SIX off Tom Brady last week?"

Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."

by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005

COCAINE DECISION

TITLED AFTER FRANK ZAPPA SONG:Someone who makes impulsive, grand scale decisions involving large amounts of money-(usually other peoples')...Facts,consequences and reality be damned.Cocaine is'nt always involved.It just looks that way.

ENRON EXEC.1:"Let's just set up a state-of-the-art trading floor.We'll find something to trade on it later."

ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!

ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."

by L.MARTIN December 10, 2005

FREE

The overarching theme under which SEX would be re-designed...if men were in control.

TIPSY-ABOUT TO GET SHUT DOWN ON A DATE-LOSER:"Sex is just so poorly designed."(hiccup)

WOMAN:"Oh?"

LOSER:"Yep.It should be free!":
"Pregnancy free."
"Disease free."
"Barrier free."
"Commitment free."
"Drama free."
"Cost free."
"You know...FREE!"
"...And it should come in nice "8" or higher
packaging."

WOMAN:"Check please."

by L.MARTIN September 23, 2005

MARRIAGE

1)The root cause of divorce.
2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.
3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would
be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit.
4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your
life.FOREVER.
5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent
sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive
destruction begins.
6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5
year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.

Marriage is wonderful.I can see why gay couples want to share in the experience.

by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006