Karl Hungus's definitions

Ambrose Alarm Clock

The act of urinating into a sleeping persons face to the point that they wake up. If the urinator is asked ‘What are you doing?’ The proper response would be ‘Pissin’. Also known as a Hellion Hello.

That lazy bastard Dean wouldn’t wake up for work so I gave him an Ambrose Alarm Clock. That got him up.

by Karl Hungus October 31, 2019

West Point Ring

Wrapping your penis around your ring finger as if it was a ring to emulate a large grad ring. The better it bulges and has throbbing vessels is more than welcome as to bring great credit to the institution of the United States Military Academy. Most 'Ring knockers' are proud of their ring and the symbolism behind it. And you too can be proud when showing off your very own 'West Point Ring'. And if you have enough room on your dog, you can even write United States Military Academy West Point on it, for more flair add an onyx in the center.

The young Captain was more than eager to see the West Point Ring that I told him that we found in the men's locker room. When he got closer and saw that it was actually a handful of my meat whistle curled 'round my finger, he was more than impressed. Damn, Pat that is a hell of a ring ! Is there a year on it?

by Karl Hungus March 6, 2023

The Houdini

a magic trick of sorts, when you are banging a chick from behind you fake an orgasm, pull out, and spit on her back jerking off all the while, you must time it right so when she turns around thinking the love making is over, you cum right in her face!

***sometimes also known as the second gunman***

The name is directly derived from the great magically magical Harry Houdini!

concerned co-worker what happened to your eye janine?

janine oh, that shit stain of a boyfriend gave me the houdini at point blank range.

by karl hungus February 7, 2005

Inspection Shelf

The flat horizontal portion of an European, Eastern European and Middle Eastern style commode, which function is to provide a surface in which fecal matter has a place to rest. This is so the distributor of said feces can inspect the item to gain insight on the health of his, her, they, them or otherwise's internal organs and fecal matter produciton efficiency.

I sure am thankful that these restrooms have a sufficient 'inspection shelf' for me to lay my log upon. If they didn't, I wouldn't have been able to determine that I did eat that much corn last night. I surely don't recall consuming that much.

by Karl Hungus January 10, 2023

Magic Carpet Ride

Placing two to three sheets of toilet paper lengthwise along the long axis of the inspection shelf portion of a toilet. The purpose is to reduce the friction of stool as the toilet is flushed and virtually eliminate skid marks as the log goes down the flume.

That was the largest beef I have ever laid out. I am so glad I did a good pre-flight on that inspection shelf. That turd went for a magic carpet ride !

Please lay down a magic carpet when using the water closet, my back hurts and I am tired of scrubbing burn-outs off my porcelain. Danke !

by Karl Hungus February 5, 2023

Fuquet

When you just know you are better than fate, and irony and all that other predetermined or random nonsense that you just say 'Fuquet' chug some Wild Turkey and drive on into work. The world is yours to shit on, and you are above it all. The most self-important dumb bitch in county lock up with that big white ass that is screaming to get cracked open by the sisters.

Did you see that guy on the news? He got pulled for DUI on the drive to work. He told the cop 'it's ok, I'm on my way to the airfield, I'm the pilot'. Motherfucker just said Fuquet and did it live. Full send.

by Karl Hungus February 17, 2023

wolf (v)

1. to take down a huge hand in poker (i.e. winning a hand by a landslide, a full house vs. one pair.)

2. to make girls cream their panties once they set eyes on a person of the oppsite sex

1. He wolfed that pot, now he's sitting high with a boatload of chips.

2. You see Jaime wolf when she took a gander at Dick's huge cock.

by Karl Hungus February 16, 2004