Definitions by Jojnny5

Cosmic 

When all around you is going to shit but you're too blind or stupid to see it so you say it's all cosmic.

When your staff are so bad that just turning up on time is an improvement. That's for being on time. You're cosmic.

Cosmic by Jojnny5 December 28, 2023

Pulling a Jones 

When you know a secret but can't contain yourself and have to tell people.

When you play a prank on a work colleague by hiding his locker and act all innocent about knowing who did it or where it could be.
Then as soon as your back is turned someone can't help telling where the locker is hidden and end ups pulling a Jones

Pulling a Jones by Jojnny5 May 24, 2020

Polish Master 

Typically a female that has power over a younger man.
The female Bates the man with her sexuality and the man ends up quitting his job though his own inadequacy.

Are you sure you should be doing that? I'll have to inform your polish Master.

Polish Master by Jojnny5 May 8, 2020

Chair support officer 

A co-worker who never seems to do any work. Often found sitting in a chair drinking coffee when everyone else is working hard.

Is he ever going to do any actual work? No. He’s the chair support officer.

Chair support officer by Jojnny5 May 6, 2020

NMFI 

Not my fucking issue

Shouldn't you stop them doing that?
Oh, it's not on my wing/section so it's NMFI

NMFI by Jojnny5 May 6, 2020

Pulling a cornwall 

To see an emerging virus, disease or illness as an excuse to have time off work

He's found a new disease he may have so is not at work.
Oh, he's pulling a Cornwall.

Pulling a cornwall by Jojnny5 March 16, 2020