high maintenance

Often a divorced woman with a fake tan, big processed hair (usually blonde) and lots of bling. Very insecure about her looks and requires constant reassurance of her physical beauty. Spends lots of time and money on clothes, shoes, accessories, hair, makeup and beauty treatments. Needs expensive homes, cars, clothes and vacations. Never pays for anything when in the presence of men.

Her trips to the manacurist every other week proved she was high maintenance.

by JohnstonGuy August 12, 2004

pink telephone

Used to describe female masturbation and orgasm as used in the phrase, "I dialed 'O' on the pink telephone."

I was so horny last night that I fired up my vibrator and dialed "O" on the pink telephone.

by JohnstonGuy November 27, 2005

dick with ears

A male that is a self-absorbed, clueless piece of shit. Hated by both men and women. In other words, a real DICK and hence the name "dick with ears."

Mike is dick with ears.

by JohnstonGuy August 12, 2004

mom butt

Unflattering description of an older woman's big, fat, lumpy, out-of-shape, cellulite butt.

Dude, your new ho has a big, fat mom butt.

by JohnstonGuy July 28, 2005

major league

Slang term for something of big time, major, gigantic or huge proportions.

Hey baby, you got some major league hooters.

by JohnstonGuy June 21, 2005

milk missiles

Slang for a woman's breasts.

Her huge milk missiles were pointed at me and I just had to stare.

by JohnstonGuy June 23, 2005

lead butt

Slow, lazy sack of shit.

1. That dude is a big fat lead butt.

2. Your kid needs to get the lead out of his butt and move faster.

by JohnstonGuy June 21, 2005