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John Conde's definitions

Skidozered

Curious powders have bulldozed your judgement and left your decision making in shables.
George did up a whole 8 ball on the solo tip and was so skidozered that he missed his own birthday party.
by John Conde May 2, 2023
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Kaiser

It means permanent like Kaiser Permenente.
Joey got a tattoo he shouldnt have and when he looked in the mirror he said "Fuck this shit is kaiser huh"
by John Conde May 2, 2023
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Monster Mop

A female you keep around to clean up all your bullshit messes. She won't mind.
I fucked up again luckily my monster mop is still in the mix.
by John Conde June 19, 2023
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VULA

A VULA is a Verified Urban Legal Associate. These are people that have been to jail so many times they think that they know the law inside and out as lawyer would, so anytime you get into legal trouble and you cant afford a lawyer so you call a Vula to give you some semi credible legal adice. People that have done serious time like 10 years or more can be considered grand Vula's.
I couldnt afford a lawyer so I hit up my cousin that fuckers a grand Vula. He knows things.
by John Conde May 2, 2023
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Mississippi Mudslide

Its when you are wearing shorts and you crap your pants or your shorts I should say.
Henry was bewildered by his own Mississippi Mudslide on hole #9 of the golf course.
by John Conde May 2, 2023
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Teridactle

An really old chick thats kind of fly
Damn that bitch look old, but she still a teridactle tho.
by John Conde June 19, 2023
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Scissor Serve

To to scissor serve somebody they must give you money expecting a certain product in return.

you take their money and and whatever product you purchase you keep half of it for yourself and give the purchaser the other half acting as if it was whole and no foul play had occured.
I give this dude 40 bucks for an eigth and he comes back with 2 grams like thats what was given, motherfucker tried to scissor serve me.
by John Conde May 2, 2023
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